


Beating the Odds

by HedaBlues



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Anya Lives, Childhood Memories, Clarke learns about the grounders, F/F, Fluff and Humor, Illnesses, Jealousy, Light Angst, Lincoln Lives, Minor Character Death, No city of light, Past Violence, Protectiveness, Psychological Torture, Redemption, Stubbornness, Torture
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-30
Updated: 2018-06-29
Packaged: 2018-11-06 15:39:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 42,927
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11039175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HedaBlues/pseuds/HedaBlues
Summary: Clarke was angry, she was scared of who she was becoming. That is why she ran away after annihilating the mountain men. Lexa did not except that, she did not except that Clarke had taken the easy route and given up- so she didn't let her.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Well this is my first Clexa fic. I've been working on it for a while now, and finally decided that enough has been pieced together to publish the first chapter. :D Reviews and all that awesome stuff are always welcome!

It had almost been two and a half months since the destruction of Mount Weather. Two and a half months since Lexa was given an ultimatum: Betray Skaikru or risk more of her people's lives. And two and a half months since she ignored her heart, leaving Clarke to be alone.

When word came that the Mountain Men were no more, the streets were flooded with excited cries of peace, and whispers of Wanheda. Each time the tale was told new parts were added to it, but Lexa knew the truth of it all. She knew what _Wanheda_ was forced to do. She wanted to reach out to Clarke- comfort her, but she knew her disloyalty was still too fresh in minds for new efforts of communication to begin.

When her inner musings became too much to handle, Lexa would go to the training grounds to clear her head.

Today she decided to work on her swordsmanship, she found it was best for her when she felt too emotional. Lexa had been hacking away at a wooden dummy when a real sword blocked her most recent blow from happening.

" _You want to test those skills on someone that can actually fight back?_ " Anya asked with the raise of her brow. Lexa wiped her sleeved arm across her forehead, trying to keep the sweat from her eyes.

" _Not now Anya,_ " Lexa said before preparing to return to her drills. In all honesty, she did miss her frequent sparring lessons with her previous mentor, it had been too long since their last one. She learned a long time ago though not to fight someone when her feelings weren't in check, if she could help it. Lexa looked up at the other woman, and tried to lighten the mood. " _I do_ _n'_ _t_ _want to hurt you._ "

Anya rolled her eyes and chuckled, something she only did when hardly any people were around, and said, " _Glad to see you still have your confidence Lexa, or should I say Heda? Remember the times when you could never beat me?_ "Anya paused and looked Lexa in her green eyes, seeing the torment buried beneath them. " _Take a walk with me._ "

Lexa sighed and sheathed her sword. As she picked up her jacket she asked, " _You should know by now that when alone you_ _may_ _refer to me as Lexa._ _How did the scouting mission go?_ " She had been curious since Anya first returned.

Anya was the one who told Lexa what happened at Mount Weather. She had stayed behind on Lexa's request, and informed Lexa what happened the moment Skaikru emerged from the mountain's door. She was the one that told Lexa of Clarke's disappearance. She was also the only one that Lexa truly trusted enough to keep her updated on what was happening around Arkadia.

Again Anya said, " _Take a walk with me._ " The way she took her eyes off of Lexa piked the other girls interest, so they both headed towards Polis's wall.

After about half an hour, the two were far enough away so their ears would be the only ones in the conversation. Anya leaned against a tree and lazily crossed her arms. " _It'_ _s_ _Azgeda._ "

Lexa took a deep breath and looked up at the sky. Something was always going on between Trikru and Azgeda. Then it clicked, this shouldn't be a matter between the two people. " _What does this have to do with Clarke's people._ "

" _It's not her people,_ _but_ _more.. her,"_ Anya said, stretching out the r in the second her.

Fear struck Lexa, she could clearly remember the last time Azgeda got involved with someone she cared about. Even if she had ruined anything from ever blossoming between her and Clarke, Lexa still didn't want her to feel any more pain- she herself had caused enough. She took a step closer to Anya. " _Explain._ "

" _Nia has set a bounty for Wanheda to be delivered to her, alive. I have seen Azgeda warriors in both Skaikru and Trikru territory. The last one I bested had a piece of parchment in his pocket, on it the warrant_."

Without a second thought, Lexa said more to herself than Anya, " _I must go after her._ " She had already started to head back in the direction they came from when an outreached arm stopped her.

" _We.. must go after her,_ " Anya corrected. Lexa thought about it for a second. She was more than capable of taking care of herself, but it was always wise to travel with another. " _It_ _i_ _s not like you can stop me from following you anyway, even if you_ _a_ _re Heda. For old times sake?_ " Anya smirked.

Lexa knew she wouldn't say no. She had a soft spot for Anya, she had taught most of what she knew today. Because Lexa was her second, Anya would always have a unique bond with her.

" _For old times sake,_ " Lexa said while shaking her head and smiling for the first time since Anya found her training.

**XXX**

It had been three months since the destruction of Mount Weather. Three months since she had to pull the lever and irradiate an entire population. Three months since she left Camp Jaha. And three months since Lexa took the deal, leaving her to her probable death.

Physically, she had grown skinnier than what was normal for her. She hunted and gathered what she could. Her skills had gotten better in the last couple of months, but she was still no pro. One day she came across a trap with a rabbit caught in it. After inspecting the area, she came to the conclusion that no one was around and stole the. She managed to trade it for a flimsy dagger.

Mentally, that was a different story, she felt empty. The first three days she went without sleep, because anytime she closed her eyes her subconscious was invaded by burnt, boiled, radiated skin. She hated what she had to do- hated Lexa. She thought they really had something special. Their first and only kiss had been such a surprise, but a welcome one. _Not yet_ , more like not ever she thought these days. She thought about those two words often, multiple questions accompanying them: Would the betrayal still have happened if I didn't pull away, would I still be in Camp Jaha, would we be more than just leaders to our people?

At first- when she wasn't mulling over Mount Weather, Clarke found herself blaming Lexa. One time she got so angry she punched the tree nearest her, busting up a few knuckles in the process. After some time, she couldn't be as furious; Lexa was just protecting her people. Clarke still wasn't ready for forgiveness though, in fact she didn't know if she ever would be.

One thing she was glad about though, was that her nightmares were less frequent. Not that she needed them, she now had every individual face etched to memory.

Clarke was currently headed to Niylah's trading post. She had found a true friend in the other woman. Niylah was a genuinely nice and helpful person, unlike many were these days with Clarke. Even when she found out who Clarke was- what she had done, she thanked her once then never referred to it again.

Clarke had been walking through the woods for sometime now. She was about to cross a stream when she heard a twig snap behind her; she quickly turned around and noted her surroundings. When she didn't hear anything, she took out her dagger and climbed up the closest tree. Clarke waited until her eyes landed on a black panther stalking below. When it started to sniff around Clarke got worried that it must've already caught her sent, so she took a quick breath and jumped down.

Her dagger stabbed it between the shoulder blades. It roared ferociously and tried to buck her off, but Clarke securely wrapped her legs around its torso. When Clarke's sense returned to her, she ripped the dagger out and sliced the animals throat. She felt warm blood pour over her hands as life left the panther.

When Clarke got off, she bent down with her elbows on her knees and whispered, "Yo gonplei ste odon." _Your fight it over._

She was about to continue her trek when she looked back and figured she could trade the animal for some decent clothes and food, so she picked up the front paws and dragged the beast along.

What should have been a fifteen minute walk turned into forty five. By the time Clarke got to the trading post, sweat had already soaked through parts of her shirt. She pushed the wooden door open, and upon seeing Clarke, Niylah helped her with her kill.

"What you like for this?" Even during their first encounter, it wasn't every very hard to understand Niylah's broken English. Clarke couldn't blame her, she knew she was one of the only people she had to practice on.

Clarke's arms fell to her side; she could feel the strain from pulling something so heavy for as long as she had. "Food." That was the first thing that came to mind. She had grown used to the constant hunger, but it would be nice to have a real meal- or something close to it. "Its been getting colder out, do you have any winter clothing?"

The other woman simply nodded and went into a room to gather the items. Clarke waited in silence until a man came in. He was buff and looked as if he hadn't washed himself in at least a week. Even Clarke would go to a nearby creek every other day at the least. He looked like a warrior, but his armor differed from what Trikru wore. Everything was grey and white, except for a blue sliver of fabric wrapped around the waist.

He opened his mouth to speak, but Niylah came out first and said, "Here, I found bag carry items in." She faced the new person in the room. " _Do you need help?_ "

" _Have you seen Wanheda?_ " At hearing her title, Clarke gathered her things and headed towards the exit, until she was stopped by a voice, "Have you seen Wanheda?"

Clarke didn't turn around, but looked past her shoulder and shrugged, saying, "I don't know, what's she look like?"

Clarke left, and something clicked as she heard the door shut behind her. The man used trigedasleng with Niylah, but English with her. She got a bad feeling and sped up when she heard the door close again and she froze.

"Hello Wanheda." Even though her back was away from the man, she could still hear the smirk in his voice. Niylah had warned her to be wary with strangers during her last visit, and she was no fool. The man did not have the tone of someone who simply wanted a casual conversation, so she shot into a dead run.

She could hear his feet heavily hitting the ground, much louder than the other grounders she had come to know. The closer he came the harder she pumped her legs and urged herself forwards. In an effort to slow him down, Clarke rounded a tree, but her bag got caught on it. Without a second thought she took her arm out of the strap and left it hanging on the branch, continuing on forward.

For a moment Clarke didn't hear the other pair of feet, but then she felt pain explode through her right leg, and couldn't hold her scream at bay. The impact mixed with her speed was enough to throw her off balance and into the dirt. Clarke tried to stand, but failed and settled for pulling herself behind the largest tree.

The man's voice echoed throughout the forest. "Wanheddaa." Clarke heard him pause, but his steps came closer. "People make you sound like some goddess, when in reality you are just some frightened girl too far from home.

Home, Clarke thought. She hadn't had a home in months. She pushed her back further against the tree, knowing it wouldn't help. She decided she wasn't going down without a fight though, and reached for the dagger connected to her belt- holding it close. She glanced at her leg for the first time and saw an arrowhead sticking out of her thigh. Blood was soaking her pants and steadily pooling beneath her leg. She guessed it got irritated from the fall. Before she could think too long on it, Clarke heard a twig snap then several small thudding noises followed by a single large one.

Clarke didn't know what happened, all she knew was that it was no silent- not even a single bird was singing.

When her curiosity got the best of her, Clarke turned her head past the tree and was shocked to see her pursuer on the ground, motionless, with multiple arrows sticking out of his lifeless body. The longer she stared, the more lightheaded she began to feel.

"Clarke!" She almost jumped out of her skin- not just because she had been startled, but because knew that voice, she had had dreams about it. She didn't know what to think, maybe it's just blood loss she told herself. Then she turned her head in the direction she thought she heard it come from. When she did, she saw both Lexa and Anya coming towards her. They both looked controlled, but Lexa's eyes told the truth that her expression did not. The fact that Clarke saw worry in Lexa's eyes ignited something she thought she was moving past.

She growled and started shouting, "Fuck off Commander, I don't need your help! You've already done more than enough of that!"

Lexa stopped with one foot still in front of the other, Anya following suit. She could more than see and hear Clarke's furry, she could feel it in her bones. "Clarke-"

"No, I don't want to hear anything that you..." She had to pause, swaying even though she was still sitting. Lexa took another step, but Clarke only glared at her.

Lexa sighed, and after a moment asked, "If you will not allow me help you, then let Anya? Please?"

Clarke's glare lessened, she had never heard the brunette beg before. She looked down stubbornly. She knew she couldn't save herself in this state, but maybe that wouldn't be such a bad thing she thought to herself. "Fine," she whispered, having using most of her strength to do what little yelling she was capable of.

Upon hearing that Anya moved forwards immediately. Lexa caught the sideways glance the other woman threw her and ignored it- keeping her eyes glued on the blonde.

When Anya finished the few steps it took to reach Clarke she dropped to her knees and began assessing the wound, trying to figure out the safest way to remove the shaft.

Clarke's view of Lexa was now broken, but she could still feel her gaze. When she felt Anya's hands on her leg she involuntarily flinched away. It wasn't that it hurt Clarke, but she had had next to no human contact in the previous months. Anya simply ignored it and continued on.

"My bag.. It had a water skin in it," Clarke mumbled groggily.

"I will retrieve it," Lexa said quickly. She left the area for two reasons: She wanted to help in some way, and it way obvious that Clarke wasn't exactly thrilled to see her.

Anya flicked Clarke on her left knee to catch her attention. When Clarke looked up, resting her head on the tree, she said, "I know you are upset- more than upset, but you are not the only one dealing with the consequences of their actions from that day… Give me that dagger."

Clarke had completely forgotten that she still had a grip on the dagger, a very loose one. "Are you going to stab me in the back as well?" It was a low blow for Clarke, and she knew it, yet she couldn't help but not care.

Anya's face turned into a scowl before she brought her face closer to Clarke's, and growled, "Listen sky girl, Heda did what she had to- exactly like you did. Tell me something, if it were you, would you have taken the deal? Would you not have taken the opportunity to save all of your people?" She then gestured to the arrow still sticking out of Clarke's thigh. "It will hurt less to cut through the wood instead of snapping it with my fist."

Clarke broke the eye contact, she wanted to say she would have found another way. She wanted to say she wouldn't have betrayed Lexa, but she couldn't. She had betrayed the people in the mountain that helped her and her people. Clarke shook her head from the thought and lazily handed Anya the dagger.

"I am going to tell you a story. I do not expect you to listen, but it will give you the chance to see a different.. perspective of things," Anya punctuated herself by withdrawing the arrow at last, to Clarke's credit she only groaned loudly. Anya swiftly pulled out a narrow piece of cloth, wrapping it around the wound and pulling it tight.

Clarke nodded, not having the strength to argue.

_Anya was with Lexa,_ _it had been no more than twenty five minutes since they departed to put an end to the shooting_ _. Their party_ _began_ _with_ _eight_ _members,_ _five_ _of which had been shot_ _by the rifles_ _\- their souls moving on._ _The now dwindling group had stealthily encountered several_ _Maunon;_ _each one was being killed from the shadows, without even the chance to scream._

_The three warriors were currently scouting an open field from the tree line. Anya briefly looked at Lexa, she was proud of how far she'd come. Even with Lexa now being heda, both women knew that she would forever and always be Anya's second._

_The general was ready to get her revenge on the mountain, and those that inhabited it; nothing acts as a prison for Anya kom Trikru and gets away with it. The Maunon had taken too much from her._

" _We move now," Lexa ordered without a falter. Anya nodded, as did the other warrior, then they all leaped from the tree- landing without the crunch of a single leaf._

_Lexa led, who had out both of her swords, a red sheen could be seen coloring the smooth metal. Anya was armed with one sword and her dagger, several more hidden on her body. The final member of their group had his bow with an arrow knocked on it. They all had a light coat of blood covering various parts of their body, prepared for more if necessary._

_Suddenly Lexa held her armed fist up, signaling for them to halt. Anya peered into the distance and saw a lone figure make their way towards them._

" _You," Lexa quietly motioned to the warrior who was the most hidden out of the trio, "Flank the Maunon." He nodded and became one with the darkness that was engulfing them._

_After about half of a minute, the man came into hearing distance, saying, "Commander.. I see our escapee is with you.."_

_Anya saw his smirk through the night and growled, about to move forward until Lexa shook her head. She settled with a deep sigh, keeping her eyes locked on the man before them._

" _I come with a proposition." Lexa's eyes narrowed dangerously, but the man continued, "But first… I'm not very fond of eavesdroppers." He then raised his gun, for the fear that Lexa would be shot- Anya darted in front of her with the speed of light, and Lexa was too slow to stop her. To each of their surprise, the man shot to his right side, and in the distance the body of their final surviving warrior fell. Out of furry, Anya pulled her arm back, aiming for the murderer until she heard, "All of your people will be returned to you."_

_Anya straightened herself and scanned Lexa who only had a furrowed brow. When Lexa moved to take a step in front of Anya, she wasn't stopped. With authority and not an ounce of fear, Lexa asked, "What do you want in return?"_

" _Leave, that's all I ask. Your people will no longer be bothered by us, no longer be stolen from your homes; you can live in peace for once."_

_Anya chuckled humorlessly, thinking they'd never be in peace._

" _What of Clarke and her people?" Lexa's voice sounded strong, but Anya caught a slight hesitation when the sky girl's name was said. It was then that the general really started to wonder if a stronger bond than anticipated had been forged between the two leaders._

" _Again, leave, never return, and your people will be returned to you. They'll walk right out of the metal door your warriors are standing in front of." When she looked at Lexa, Anya saw the stoic appearance, but knew well enough to search beyond that. She saw a conflict between head and heart, much like what had happened when Costia was murdered._

" _What is your name?" It was more of an order than a request._

" _Cage, Cage Wallace," The man said in a slightly amused tone, as if they should already know him._

_Lexa began to march towards Cage, Anya was about to attempt to stop her, but knew it wasn't her place, opting to silently follow, weapons still at the ready. The commander stopped a few paces from Cage, grip still tight on her swords as she responded, "Cage, I have one requirement.." She paused when the man laughed lightly until he saw Anya take a step forward with a growl, to which he audibly gulped. "Clarke.. She is not to be harmed. If you can not guarantee that then you will die were you stand."_

_Cage contemplated it for a moment, then said, "Looks like we have a deal."_

_Lexa tipped her head once in response then turned around, headed back in the direction they came from. Anya could see the torment building in her heda's eyes, and nudged her gently to give what comfort she could at the moment._

Clarke had a new level of dizziness sweep over heart the realization. "You're telling me that she was about to sacrifice the chance to save her people, just so I would be safe?"

Anya simply nodded, handing the blonde her own water skin to drink from. Clarke eagerly excepted it and drank greedily. She didn't know what to think. The other Skaikru were still handed over, but.. She was confused, that's all Clarke knew for a fact. Before she could cause a greater headache, Clarke caught sight of Lexa emerging from between two trees, and with her bag.

When the younger girl looked up at her and opened her mouth slightly, about to say something, Anya nodded in understanding. She stood, walking past Lexa, saying, "I'm going to hunt for a meal." She ignored the quizzical look from Lexa.

She walked towards Clarke, and lightly dropped the bag, which to her surprise received an almost silent, "Thanks..." It wasn't difficult to find Clarke's pack, Lexa simply followed her tracks backwards until she found the tree. In an effort to give the blonde some space, Lexa headed for a large rock that was nearby and leaned against it, staring off into the distance.

Clarke was silent for a couple of minutes, not knowing what to say- where to start. She didn't know when Anya would return, so she decided to go with the flow, almost whispering, "Lexa.."

Lexa turned her head the moment her name was called. She was caught slightly off guard, thinking if Clarke were to speak to her that she'd be addressed with her title. Lexa looked at the blonde, but not in her eyes. "Yes, Clarke?"

"Why?" Clarke tried to look Lexa in the eyes, but couldn't comfortably maneuver herself and got frustrated. "Damn it, would you just look at me!?"

Lexa sighed and stepped forward, still far enough to give Clarke some space. Then she bent down, balancing on the balls of her toes, her green eyes meeting blue ones that swarmed with countless emotions. Her voice was controlled and even, "As heda, I have to protect my people. The deal I was offered, gave me the opportunity to save all of my people. Who knows how many-

Lexa was cut off by Clarke, who shook her head and exasperatedly said, "Why did you risk that for me, but still betray my people..?"

Lexa's mouth dropped slightly, and brought her hand up to pinch the bridge of her nose when she realized Anya had spoken to Clarke. She looked at Clarke, her mask still on, but before she could speak, Clarke interrupted her again.

"For crying out loud! I want to see you, Lexa. I want an answer from you, not your commander facade!" Clarke paused to shake the new spell that had overcome her. "Vulnerability isn't weakness. Just.. I want to hear it from you, not the commander. Please?"

Lexa tightly closed her eyes before looking back up. She no longer saw pent-up rage and hate, but a deep curiosity. "I told you, I care for you Clarke," Lexa responded in undertone.

Clarke took a heavy sigh, not for a single second removing her eyes from Lexa's. It was the first time that Clarke had seen such raw emotion from the woman. She saw vasts amounts of inner turmoil swarming the normally hard eyes. It was the first time Clarke had ever seen Lexa without any kind of wall built up. There had been a brief moment during the kiss they shared, but it disappeared the moment Clarke pulled didn't have to look at Lexa to know she spoke nothing but the truth, it was laced throughout her soft voice. "Look," Clarke started. "I'm not saying that I am not still angry, because I am.. I don't know if it will ever completely go away, but.. I think I could be headed towards forgiveness."

Lexa inclined her head, wanting to say something, but kept her mouth shut for fear of becoming choked up. She leaned forward, one hand balancing her, the other tenderly touching Clarke's ankle. When the sun came out from its hiding spot behind the trees, it cast an orange hew over Clarke. It was then that Lexa was able to see the other girl clearly. It worried to see Clarke's skin so pale, so she said, "You should rest. I'll watch over you."

Clarke smiled weakly and nodded. She didn't think twice when she reached into her pack and pulled out the light jacket Niylah gave her, bunching it up and laying it on the dirt. Before she could lay down, a hand reached out and stopped her. Lexa then got up and walked off, disappearing momentarily. When she returned, she had her bow and her own bag slung around her shoulder. Lexa dropped everything except for the bag, she pulled out two furs, folding one a few times and handing it to Clarke.

"You don't have to-" Clarke tried to say before Lexa interrupted by saying, "I want to."

Clarke layed down, and groggily mumbled, "Thank you."

The moment Lexa saw Clarke close her eyes, she noticed her breathing quickly even out. She watched for a second before resting the other fur she took out over Clarke, stopping at her shoulders. When Clarke signed and snuggled into the blanket, Lexa backed away and sat against a tree- finally giving her legs a rest. She was keeping her word of watching the blonde, she wasn't sure if she'd be able to break it if she wanted to. So Lexa basked in relative silence, the occasional rodent or bird going by.

Lexa knew that Clarke's words offered no sure promise, but they did offer one thing she rarely felt; they offered hope.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little more back-story for Lexa (and Anya). Just a little ‘spoiler’ for future chapters, you could call this the calm before the storm. The real plot will be introduced a few chapters ahead. :D

It did not take long for Anya to return to the spot where Clarke was found earlier that day. She found an alert Lexa, who immediately lowered her defensive stance when she realized the person was not an intruder. Anya first dropped her bow near where Lexa's was resting, then she headed towards the fire, dropping the string that had multiple kills tied to it: Three rabbits and a squirrel.

Lexa reached to grab one of the animals so she could skin it, but found a pouch pushed into her palm. Lexa raised an eyebrow at Anya, until the other woman motioned with her chin to Clarke. When the brunette untied and opened the pouch, she found herbs that her people frequently used as a pain reliever.

When Clarke came to consciousness, she first smelt smoke- followed by one of flesh. In a few seconds dozens of mutilated faces popped up, one after the other. It seemed like it would never end, until Clarke launched up, her breathing erratic. She only remembered where she was when she felt the pain ripple in her thigh, enough to cause her to grimace and release a small groan.

She saw Lexa briskly head over, reaching her hand out before pulling it back. She knew what was going to happen before it did. Just before Clarke woke up, she had been moving around restlessly. When she saw blue eyes shoot open, full of pain, Lexa could guess what the dream had been about and guilt instantly settled over her.

"It was just a nightmare Clarke." The blonde closed her eyes and nodded, trying to forget the images with little success. Lexa momentarily moved away to grab the now smashed up herbs. Anya briefly watched her before returning to skinning the last rabbit to place on the fire.

Clarke re-opened her eyes when she felt something placed on her lap. She glanced at Lexa, then to the goop in that was contained in a crudely made bowl, then questionably back up again.

A slight smile tugged at Lexa's lips when she answered the silent question. "It is made from herbs that our healers use. It will not take it away completely, but will assist with the pain. All you have to do is spread the paste over your wound."

At first Clarke couldn't help but question Lexa's motives, wondering if this would in fact sabotage her healing process. She soon shook her head from the thought, wanting the anger expelled from her mind, wanting to be able to forgive the past. Clarke peered up and saw Lexa looking at her expectantly. She sighed and pulled off the fur that had been covering her legs. Clarke looked at the blood peeking through the bandage. She still felt woozy, but the nap had gifted her with some energy.

When Clarke unwrapped her leg, Lexa hovered near by in case she needed assistance with anything.

The blonde dipped her index finger into to herbs- the mixture was warmer than she had expected it to be. At first, Clarke's touch was feather light, then she steadily added pressure as she began to massage it over her wound. After it was applied to the back of her leg as well, Clarke looked at the bloodied up cloth. She knew that it would be unsanitary if she put it back on, and she was in no mood for an infection.

Lexa caught onto what Clarke was thinking and headed to her bag, pulling out real bandages. She handed them to Clarke, saying, "I personally know how comfortable.. Anya's healing techniques can be, but I believe these should work too."

"Good enough for you when you couldn't hold your own," Anya responded in a defensive tone.

When Lexa rolled her eyes, Clarke chuckled, which caused Anya to move her eyes from the fire to them. Clarke's mouth fell ajar when she saw something she never had before- Anya was smirking.

When Anya saw Clarke's expression, she pointedly looked at her and said, "Why so surprised, sky girl? We have jokes of our own you know." Then her tone changed completely, much more serious. "But if you tell anyone about this.. You will not make it to the next day."

"Wouldn't be surprised there." Her tone was bitter, and she meant the words to be nothing above a whisper, but the other two women heard her, and the mood automatically shifted at the reference. There was no trace of lightheartedness left on Anya's face as she returned her focus to the fire.

Lexa looked down guiltily before walking away- sitting on the opposite side of the fire from Anya.

Clarke sighed, she hadn't meant to say it, not really. It was a thought that slipped past her lips. She started to think she had a knack for pissing Anya off. And honestly, she didn't mean it. The blonde knew that the two Trikru members could have left her to be taken by the man, but she couldn't seem to leave the past in the past. Clarke thought that maybe she wasn't as close to forgiveness as she thought; she didn't know who she couldn't forgive. She re-wrapped her injury in silence. Once she was finished, Clarke rested her head against the tree- wishing her thought would have stayed in her mind.

It didn't take long for the food to cook, the awkward tension filled silence still had not lifted. Lexa looked at the various meats, considering which Clarke would like best. After a few moments, she decided on her personal favorite of the three- squirrel. She picked up the skewer and walked over to Clarke, who had fallen asleep again. She thought about letting her rest longer, but figured it would be better for the girl to have a meal, so she lightly shook her shoulder until blue eyes peered up at her.

Clarke tried to rub the sleep from her eyes, not remembering when she had dozed off. She looked up at the sky and guessed that night would soon be falling upon them. She then mumbled her thanks and took the food.

Lexa turned around, ready to eat herself, until she heard a quiet voice. "Lexa wait.." The brunette slowly turned in her spot and waited for Clarke to continue. "I'm sorry for what I said earlier, I know both of you only want peace for your people.."

Lexa somberly shook her head and said, "You owe me no apology, Clarke. You have the right to feel and speak your mind."

The moment Lexa finished, Anya's voice cut across the fire. "She may not require your regret, but I could use it."

Clarke didn't know if she was serious or not, so she looked Anya dead in the eye, saying with a strong, confident voice, "Anya kom Trikru, I am sorry if my words have offended you." Anya grunted before turning and taking a bite of her rabbit. Clarke let out a relieved breathe when she saw the miniature grin play across the general's lips.

For the first few minutes that they ate no one spoke- everyone too focused on consuming their food. Lexa had a question that had frequented her thoughts though, so she decided to ask, "When you are well enough for the journey, would you like us to take you to the edge of Arkadia's territory?"

Clarke was about to take another bite, but paused. She replayed the name a few times in her head, not recognizing it. "Am I supposed to know where or what that is?"

It didn't take long for the commander to piece two and two together. "Allow me to explain," Lexa began. "Your people have renamed what was formerly Camp Jaha to Arkadia. Again, would you-"

Clarke quickly cut her off, "No!" She avoided the green and hazel eyes that had fallen on her from her short outburst. In a more shallow voice, she added, "I can't face them yet."

"I will not force you to do anything that causes you to feel uncomfortable. But.. you are more capable than you know, Clarke kom Skaikru. Doubt can kill an entire army," Lexa tried to convince.

"Yeah.. Well so can I," Clarke sighed, lifting up the knee of her good leg to rest her forehead on.

Lexa shared a partially concerned look with Anya. Anya gestured with her head toward the sky girl, the implication clear. Lexa stood up, brushing the dirt off of her pants, and trod toward Clarke. She stood awkwardly for a second, not knowing what would be an invasion of privacy. Lexa looked behind her- locking eyes with Anya who was still watching, and flicked her hand to the forest.

Anya rolled her eyes, but understood. She would figure out what was happening between the two at some point. As she stood, Anya also grabbed another skewer of meat.

Lexa waited until the older girl could no longer be seen, then sat near the blonde; she left a fair amount between them. "Why do you feel that you can not face your people, Clarke?"

Clarke wanted to walk away, wanted to ignore the question, wanted to ignore its answer- but she knew that this was one thing that she couldn't run from. At first, she thought about not responding to Lexa, and leaving her to wait in silence. She was pulled to her though, felt as if she wouldn't be judged or criticized, like she would be by so many others. Earlier that day, Clarke had told Lexa that vulnerability wasn't weakness, she felt that now could be the chance to prove that. So she quietly said, "When I see them, I see the people I murdered, I see the awful things that I have done. It is too much to see it both when I am asleep and when I'm awake."

Lexa hesitated for a second, not knowing how the blonde would respond to her next question. "You do not see these things when you look at me?"

"You saved your people, I saved mine. You did not make me pull that lever, I pulled it of my own free will." She paused to take a deep breathe before continuing. "Maybe at first I really was angry at you, but after a while I just wanted a reason.. a reason to hate what I had to do less.. hate myself less." She laughed humorlessly as she lifted her head, her eyes began to well up. "God Lexa, all I want to do right now is cry and scream and let it all out, because it is killing me on the inside."

"Then cry, scream; let the forest absorb your sorrows." Lexa kept her eyes on the blonde, watching everything come undone. First her breathing became more rapid, followed by the dams beneath her eyes fracturing, then came full out sobs. Lexa always carefully thought about her actions, always tried to consider everything that could happen. But she didn't think when she scooted closer to Clarke, securely wrapping her arms around the girl.

Clarke clawed desperately at the brunette's back, until she caused Lexa's shirt to bunch up enough to clutch onto. She cried into Lexa's shoulder- effectively releasing everything that had been held in for the past months. Lexa took it all, not once releasing the other girl from her embrace. She stroked her hair, ran her fingers across the other girls shaking back, anything she could think of to comfort Clarke.

Lexa held her until her cries turned into hiccups, she held Clarke when her breathing began to even, and she held her long after. Lexa pondered the amount of sleep Clarke must've been getting, when she decided that she didn't like the answer she thought of something else.

Anya marched into the small camp not long after Clarke fell asleep in Lexa's arms, and that's exactly how she found them. Her hazel eyes met Lexa's green ones, trying to find the answers to her questions there, but received no such luck. Anya chuckled before saying in a mocking tone, " _As Titus always enforces, love is weakness."_

Lexa rolled her eyes, trying to move as little as possible so she doesn't wake the exhausted blonde. _"You always told me to ignore half of his teachings, especially that one. I suppose that is a good thing, because it is too late.."_ When Anya looked at her with a confused expression, Lexa softly said, " _It is too late, because.. I have already fallen for her."_

Anya walked towards her heda, more careful than usual to not make any extra noise. When she was within touching distance, Anya reached down and rested her hand on Lexa's shoulder, leaning into her ear and whispering, " _I realized it a while ago. It is in the very way you stare at her, the way you're eager to protect her, the amount that you sacrifice for her."_ Anya paused briefly, making sure that Lexa was looking at her for the next part. " _If this happened sooner, I would have called you a fool."_ The general decided to sit side by side with the brunette. _"You used to always look up at the sky, and now you have fallen for it."_

Lexa breaks eye contact with her friend to glance up at the sky- the sunset was beginning to take over the daytime blue. " _Old habits are difficult to break,"_ Lexa chuckled. The movement from her chest caused Clarke to stir. Both of the women froze and eyed Clarke, each hoping that she would continue to get her much needed sleep.

When Clarke woke up, the first thing she thought was that her butt felt incredibly numb. The second thing she thought was that she felt more comfortable than she had in months. In fact, Clarke didn't know if she had ever felt as cozy as she was in that moment. She snuggled deeper into the warmth, that's when her conversation with Lexa came rushing back to her. When Clarke opened her eyes, she saw Anya peering at her from the other side of Lexa- a slight grin was gracing her face. Clarke quickly disentangled herself from Lexa's and stretched her arms. She let her hair fall over her face to conceal the burning of her rose colored cheeks.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to fall asleep," Clarke punctuated herself with a yawn. "You could've woken me."

Lexa chuckled and lightly shook her head. "You do not need to apologize for resting, Clarke." The younger girl smiled and looked down at her now fidgety hands.

Anya kept looking between the two and face palmed dramatically, catching the others attention. When Anya caught the pairs of eyes on her she shrugged and lied, "Bug," before rising and walking to the dwindling fire to tend to it. All she could think was that this would be an interesting story to watch unfold.

Lexa quirked her eyebrow at the woman's strange behavior. Something else soon took her attention though, a topic she wanted to approach delicately. "I am aware of where you do not want to be, but not where you wish to go, Clarke." Lexa could see the wheels turning in the blonde's head. "My Polis offer still stands, but it would be too long of a journey for you to take."

"How long is too long?" Clarke questioned while slightly tipping her head to the side.

"At a decent pace, and without any setbacks, three days," Lexa replied.

Clarke hummed in response. She hadn't even attempted standing since she fell, so she highly doubted she could walk very far.

"Although, there is a village nearby, if you are interested. It will offer better protection; an actual healer could also help with your wound," Lexa proposed. She hadn't visited this specific place in many years, and knew its people yearned to see her once again.

Clarke had to admit that Lexa made a good point. The most convincing part being that one of the village healers would be more avid with arrow wounds compared to herself. She also admitted, to herself, that she no longer wanted to be isolated. "How am I supposed to get there? I can't exactly walk at the moment."

Anya, who overheard, took the opportunity to butt in, "You could always try running." She received two different responses: The partially amused one from Clarke, and the much more annoyed glare from Lexa.

"Do you think you would be able to ride a horse at a slow pace?" Lexa questioned.

Clarke tried to imagine it for a second, until she remembered. "I've never exactly ridden one before."

"You may ride with me. I am an adept rider, you will be safe," Lexa suggested nonchalantly- on the inside her heart beat faster just at the thought.

Clarke hardly thought twice before agreeing, "Sounds good to me." Clarke lowered her head and smiled, glancing at the brunette from the corner of her eye. "Can we leave tomorrow though? I still feel somewhat faint."As Clarke finished she brought her hand to rub her eyes and leaned all of her weight against the tree.

Lexa nodded while saying, "Of course." She allowed some of her excitement show through with an underplayed smile.

Clarke looked around their little area, and when she didn't find what she was searching for she asked, "Are the horses somewhere nearby?"

Lexa shook her head before turning to Anya, "Go to the village, inform their leader when we will arrive, and gather two horses." Anya nodded and had already stood up when Lexa thought of something else. "Also, speak to a healer and get anything that will help make the ride more bearable." She didn't have go into detail, they all knew who Lexa was aiming to make more comfortable.

Anya dipped her head before grabbing her weapons and pack, jogging through the trees not long after.

Clarke caught herself smiling unexpectedly. She could feel butterflies in her stomach, not the bad kind, but that which made her feel warm and secure.

A few minutes after Anya left, Lexa stood and felt the tension resting in her muscles. When she took her first step, a voice came from behind her. "Where are you going?" Clarke cleared her throat, not meaning to sound so needy.

Having caught the blonde's tone, Lexa turned around with a light grin. "I will return to your side, if you wish," Lexa started, using your side to see how exactly how Clarke would react. "The herbs are not strong, they should be wearing off soon. I figured.." She paused to hold up the bowl. "I figured you would prefer for the pain to continue being subsided." Clarke nodded before looking up fleetingly and smiled appreciatively. The brunette retook her spot next to Clarke, handing her the dish.

As Clarke reapplied, she was pulled back into one of her and Lexa's previous conversations from that day. When she thought further of it, the blonde had been curious of this even longer. "You know, something has been nagging at me for a while now.." Clarke started off. "You say you care, but why?"

If Lexa was honest, she had been waiting for this specific question to come out for quite some time now. Instead of saying the truth- that she cared because she loved her, and things that she loved terrified her, she responded with, "Your answer will come in time, Clarke." Lexa silently pleaded for Clarke to accept what she was willing to give at that moment.

Clarke stared intently at the other girl, but didn't want to intrude, so she dropped the subject, opting for something else. "So.. How'd you become Anya's second."

Lexa chuckled, more OK with this topic than the last. "Do you mean how did we meet, or that specifically?" Truth be told, they were intertwined.

Clarke hummed again before saying, "Both." She then shifted her back, trying to shake the imprint the bark was leaving against her skin. Lexa shrugged her coat off before placing it over Clarke's shoulders. Clarke leaned into it and sighed contently. "You know I have my own jacket right?"

"I have seen it, and I can promise you that the material is too thin to add comfort," Lexa joked, not minding the slightest.

"First you act as a healer, now a tailor, what's next?" Clarke lightly chuckled while shaking her head.

"Need I remind you, I am also Heda," She said before joining in on the laughter. When it died down Lexa began her story with a much more somber face, "We first came in contact when I was four summers old. My birth village, it is on the smaller side- only about thirty strong. There are only ever a few warriors guarding it, most of its population consists of farmers and healers. As a result, I never came in contact with someone that could fight well."

Clarke could see a hazed over look in Lexa's eyes, as if she was actually seeing into the past.

"I always felt a certain pull towards combat; it is possible that that is because of my past lives as Heda." She paused to take a breathe. "My parents.. They did not approve of my interest, they would have preferred for me to become a healer. With one child already training for battle-"

"Wait, you have a sibling?" Clarke interrupted before apologizing, "Sorry, it's still strange for me to hear about siblings after only one kid per couple on The Ark."

Lexa nodded, then her lips turned down sadly as she whispered, "I had a sis.. Her and Anya, they grew up together. Most of their time was spent a great distance from our village. They were lucky, if you can call it that, that a demand of warriors was needed and a general had taken both of them as his seconds. They were never apart from the other, and somewhere along the journey they fell deeply in love with one another. When I was born- my sis, she tried to find more time to visit, but it was always sparingly. If she came, then Anya was forced to stay with their first. That was until their general was murdered in an ambush during a hunting mission." When Lexa felt her throat constrict, she swallowed the fluid in her mouth in an effort to open it up.

Clarke could feel her eyes welling up with tears. This was more than a simple story of one person meeting another, it was a story of love and heartache. She wanted to reach out, but was glued to her spot.

"My sis was with us at the time, and Anya was on a patrol of Polis's wall, so neither were directly affected. They became true warriors that day. I was so excited, my sis told me that Anya was going to travel to our village. I was finally going to meet the mysterious girl who I had only heard tales of- the one who stole my sisters heart. The day she was set to arrive, I pleaded with my sister to take me along to meet her love." Lexa smiled sadly, as she usually did when she tried to remember her sister. "She could never say no to me and agreed."

Trying to stall the next part of the story, Lexa stood and placed another log on the dwindling fire before sitting back down, this time closer to Clarke. The blonde noticed the new proximity, and didn't take her eyes of the brunette the entire time.

Lexa released a deep breathe through her nose before continuing, slightly quieter than before. "With my hand in hers, we left the village- passing tree after tree. After what seemed like hours, we stepped foot into an open clearing. Half way through my sis stopped us, and scanned the trees. At first, I thought it would be Anya, instead I saw something from my nightmares."

Clarke silently slipped her hand into Lexa's, her worry for the girl now overcoming her anxiety of being rejected. When Lexa returned the squeeze, Clarke took it as an invitation to carefully scoot over; now shoulder to shoulder with the other girl.

Lexa found strength in Clarke and managed to raise her voice an octave higher. "A reaper stalked out of the woods. My sis forced me behind her, she tried to tell me to run, but I was paralyzed in my fear. When it charged us, she unsheathed her sword and pushed me further away. I fell on my back and watched everything happen." Lexa sniffled as her eyes watered and her grip on Clarke's hand tightened. "She even managed to knock his weapon away, but he was too big, easily twice her size and absolutely relentless. He tackled her to the ground, the force threw her sword from her hands. Only when I saw him wrap his hands around her neck did I manage to break my stupor. I heaved up her fallen weapon to the best of my ability with great difficulty, it was almost as tall as me."

When Lexa's voice cracked, Clarke let her head drop to her shoulder. She knew how hard it was to talk about the death of a family member, and thought of telling Lexa she didn't have to continue, but figured since she was this far in that Lexa would just finish anyway.

"I stumbled over to them and tried to strike the reaper, but wasn't strong enough to do anything more than nick him. After that it felt as if the world was speeding up. He glared at me, stopping what he was doing only to rip the sword from my hands. Before I had the chance to dodge, he pushed the tip downwards, but instead of me it stabbed my sis. She used all the strength she had left and protected me with the most precious gift: Her life. The next thing I remember is hearing a feral scream, followed by the reaper being tackled away from us. I don't know how his fate ended, I was too occupied with watching the light leave my sis's eyes. I pushed the ends of my shirt over my hands before pulling the sword out, hoping it would make her better, but it only made blood gush from the wound."

Clarke could feel Lexa's breath speed up, so she whispered, "You don't have to finish." As predicted earlier, the brunette only kept going.

"I tried to stop it by placing my small hands over the gash, but accomplished nothing- her fight was already over. I started weeping while hugging her with my face buried in her neck. I only looked up when I heard the new person run to us and slide on their knees. The look in her eyes, that's what told me that she was Anya. She ran her hand over my sisters cheek and kissed her on the forehead before whispering yu gonplei ste odon. Anya, she didn't let a single tear fall as she raised my hands and lifted me to her and cradled me. She told me how brave it was for me to try and save my sis, said I showed the true strength of a warrior. She offered to take me on as her second. At the time, she was another way for me to connect with the sister I barely had the chance to know, so I nodded not being able to speak. I don't know how long we sat there, but she stood and pulled me to my feet. While she was picking my sis up, I picked up her sword by the handle and dragged it along as we headed to our village as warrior and second."

Clarke was now lightly crying, she lifted her head and wiped away Lexa's own tears before asking, "What was her name?"

"Bluma." She hadn't spoken it in so long, it felt like a ghost across her lips. "It translates to flower in trigedasleng."

Clarke nodded, while looking up and the now dark sky. She wanted to repay Lexa for soothing her earlier, so she murmured, "Let the forest absorb your sorrows," knowing Lexa would understand.

Their roles reversed when the grounder immediately let her head fall onto Clarke's shoulder. Her sobs were more controlled, but the blonde still comforted her in any way that she could. This was the only the second time that Lexa permitted herself to release the grief she connected with her sisters tragic downfall. Clarke was also the only person she had ever told, even Costia hadn't known the full details.

Little did they know that Anya had returned at some point into the story, keeping her distance in a nearby tree. A single tear fell from her eye at the memory, because what a beautiful _flower_ she had been.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a bit shorter than my previous chapters, but it was also kind of a filler, so I hope y'all enjoy! A special thank you to everyone leaving kudos, comments, and all that awesome stuff! :D

The previous night Anya had chosen to give the two younger woman some privacy. It was a rare event for Lexa to show such emotions, even to Anya, so she opted to gather water for the short journey ahead from a nearby stream. When she returned she found a sleeping Clarke, and Lexa was seated against the tree closest to the blondes. The two shared a brief nod before Anya took over watch and Lexa found rest soon after.

  
There were three things that Clarke realized as she woke up. One, she did not have a nightmare, her guess was because she was too tired to. Two, she did not have the slightest idea of how to define what was going on between her and Lexa. And three, she didn’t see anyone around her. Her first thought was that yesterday was all an extremely vivid dream, but that proved false when she looked down at her still wounded leg. Her worry did not have long to fester, because Clarke soon caught sight of long, intricately braided hair.

  
Clarke watched Lexa go about the camp as she, with obvious intentions of being quiet, packed the few scattered things and placed them in a worn leather saddle bag. The blonde smiled at Lexa’s efforts of trying not to disturb her. After a couple of minutes Clarke began to feel awkward with her staring and decided to make her consciousness more obvious, so she slowly sat up with a yawn and let her hands reach for the sky.  


When Lexa saw the movement out of the corner of her eye, she tracked it and her eyes landed on Clarke, who had slightly disheveled hair. She couldn’t help the small small that formed on her lips, and when met with curious blue eyes, she simply said, “Good morning.” When Clarke ran her hand over her hair, she quickly figured out the reason behind Lexa’s unusual behavior and blushed while trying to comb her fingers throughout her blonde locks.  


Lexa caught what Clarke was doing and said, “You do not need to worry about looks where we are going.” She wanted to say more, but did not know how Clarke would respond. She took a leap of faith by adding, “You always look beautiful.”

 

Clarke paused her ministrations for only a second before continuing so she would seem less fazed than she felt. On the inside her heart skipped a beat, and this time she let her blush show. Lexa could see from where she was standing and grinned slightly at her results, one that Clarke saw.

 

Lexa disappeared a few minutes after, and returned with a similar bowl as the one from yesterday. She removed the cloth that had been covering it and handed the rest to Clarke. “It’s from the healer.” This one smelt stronger than the last, but Clarke had learned not to judge a book by its cover and simply applied it.

 

After that, time passed by quickly- until Clarke was in front of the horse. Lexa had helped her up and together they eased their way over to the animals, which had been moved to be just outside of the small camp. Anya was found stroking one’s neck and holding the harness to the other.

 

Lexa mounted up first, followed by Anya kneeling down on one knee and cupping her hands together. After staring expectantly at the blonde and only receiving a quizzical look in return, Anya, slower than needed, instructed, “You get the foot from your uninjured leg, place it on my hands, and I lift you up.” Clarke would have been lying if she said she was not at all intimidated by the majestic beast. She looked up at Lexa and received an encouraging smile and an outreached hand. After a few more seconds she thought ‘fuck it,’ grabbed the hand, put her foot down, and was boosted on to the saddle. As soon as Anya mounted they set off at a slow pace, winding in between the many trees.

 

Clarke started out stiff on the horse, not because of her close proximity to Lexa, but the fact that she was actually on a horse. She had watched films that included them, but never even dreamt of seeing one in person, riding was even beyond that. Lexa noticed and whispered in Clarke’s ear, “It will be a more comfortable ride if you relax.” Lexa’s breath sent a shiver down Clarke’s spine, one that she tried to simply shake off. She soon took suggestion to heart and followed the brunette’s advice. Clarke let the tension leave her body and rested her back against Lexa’s front. That was when she realized the most she had felt in her leg throughout the whole ordeal was a small amount of pressure while getting on the horse. She was already becoming fond of this healer.  


Clarke watched as they passed each tree, each bush, each stream. She loved all the green- being on the ground had provided her with the most gorgeous shade of it.  


The ride was quiet, not to the point of awkwardness, but enough to where it was peaceful. The only sound came from the horses, and the beating of their hooves as they hit the dirt. No one wanted to ruin the mood. It went on like that for thirty minutes or so, then Clarke felt Lexa tense up and the horse stopped. When she looked over she saw Anya doing the same thing. Clarke peered around for several seconds, trying to see if anyone was around them, but then she noticed her two companions were starring straight ahead.  


No one spoke a word until Lexa’s voice came out- softer than usual, “Anya, you may stay behind. Meet us at the village.” This only added to Clarke’s confusion, and she watched Anya as her and Lexa’s horse began its way forward. Once she turned forward, Clarke’s curiosity left her body and she was left with an empty feeling in the pit of her stomach.  


Lexa had returned to the clearing on more than one occasion, but not in a great amount of time since she became heda. Every time she could picture the event perfectly, as if she was reliving the moment.  


Clarke looked around the field, wanting to say something- anything, to comfort the woman behind her. She remembered when people used to speak to her about her father that it would at times drive her near crazy, so she instead chose to cover Lexa’s hands that were on the reins with her own.  


“I used to come back here and honor her memory, her legacy..” Lexa’s voice cracked slightly at the end. “She was the first of many to sacrifice their lives for me, and at times I can’t help but wonder if it was worth it. I’ve done so many bad thi-”  


Clarke couldn’t stand the nauseous feeling that replaced the emptiness and interrupted, “Like you said, you do what you have to for your people. How am I supposed to forgive myself if you can not do the same for you?”  


Lexa did actually consider the question, but before she could dwell on it for long Clarke continued, “This is coming from a person who you have wronged. I honestly do not think you’re bad or evil. Everyone makes bad choices, it’s life. I think you are brave for having to make those choices, and move past their mistakes.” When Lexa took a deep breath, Clarke took one of the brunette’s hands of the reins completely and intertwined their fingers, leaving them to rest on her lap. When she felt Lexa squeeze back, she chose a more vulnerable route by saying, “I wouldn’t feel safe around someone if I thought they were a bad person, and I haven’t felt as safe as I do in this moment- in your arms.”

 

Lexa wasn’t sure if it was that they had left the clearing, or if it was simply Clarke’s words- probably both, but she felt like she could breathe clearly for the first time in a good while. Hoping Clarke wouldn’t mind, in efforts to just be closer, Lexa took her remaining hand from the reins and wrapped her arm around the other girl’s waist, holding her closer.  


Neither would admit it out loud, but they both needed it- both needed each other.  


The easy silence returned. Neither of them questioned anything: What they were or what the future held. They just let themselves be comfortable with the other.  


Although both would have preferred for the contact to last longer, Lexa eventually returned both of her hands to the reins and hesitated before saying, “We will be arriving soon. It is not safe.”  


Clarke scoffed and made a move to scoot forward, but grunted when it rubbed against the wrong part of her wound.  


Lexa did not have the slightest clue to as to what just set Clarke off, but she stopped her from moving forward anymore. “If I upset you, then I will move back. Do not jostle your injury.” True to her word, she moved back as far as the saddle would allow her to. She wanted to ask Clarke what was wrong, pleading the girl’s resentment wasn’t returning.  


Lexa being so noble only further annoyed Clarke. “Something is always dangerous if I’m around- whether it’s someone else’s safety or my own. What happened to maybe we do?” Clarke asked in her best impersonation of Lexa’s voice.  


“What happened to mockery is not the product of a strong mind?” Lexa took a quick, deep breath to calm herself. “I still believe what I said. Maybe we do deserve better. Maybe life is about more than just surviving, but if I have to just survive for you to be safe then so be it, Clarke.”

 

“What’s that supposed to mean,” Clarke asked quicker than she could process the words.

 

With complete sincerity, Lexa responded with the best explanation she was capable of, “I told you, I care, Clarke.” She would say it a million times if she had to in order for Clarke to understand. She had never spoke such truth. With the ice nation in search of _Wanheda_ , her simply surviving would give Clarke a better chance at living.

 

This time when Clarke heard the words she thought about them, long and hard. While she was musing, Lexa decided the tension had cooled down enough to return to her more secure spot behind Clarke.

 

It did not take long to reach the village after the two’s short lived spat. It was enough to pull Clarke from her thoughts, it had a much more homely feeling than she expected it to. When they first entered they were met by two soldiers who nodded at Lexa as she entered. The outskirts of the village consisted of tents, the further they entered the more stable the construction became. Everything was either made out of wood or old metal from before the time before the bombs. Once the got to the center of everything Clarke inhaled deeply and loved the scent. It was a small market place with a few stalls, some had food, others healing supplies, and finally, one with candles. The deeper they got, the more often people noticed their visitors, everyone had wide, excited eyes and called out “Heda.”

 

Lexa wasn’t entirely sure how she felt being back yet. She had left with many unresolved issues, most of them her own, but in the moment all she could think about was Clarke’s awe. She could easily admit that there were poorer and worse off places to grow up in- she had visited most of them on her duties. She led the horse towards the market, recognizing many of the faces from her early childhood. When called out to she would nod respectfully before continuing.  


It did not take long for whispers of Wanheda to intermingle with those of Heda. Clarke mimicked what she had seen Lexa do before, and was sure she would currently be doing.  


It did not take long for them to reach the healer’s hut. They were met by a brown haired man with a strong jawline, and a green eyed woman with dirty blonde hair. Lexa jumped off the horse then followed up by carefully helping Clarke dismount. The man held out his arm for Clarke to lean herself against, and the two steadily entered the building. Lexa went to follow, but was stopped by a light hand on her arm and a sad voice, “ _You could have sent in advance that you were coming,_ _Lexa_ _.”_

  
Lexa had the respect to stare the older woman before her in the eyes, even though she badly wanted to look at the ground. “ _I’m sorry,_ ” she said before pulling away and seeking out Clarke. It was not a hard task to accomplish as the hut was quite small, just enough for a few people. Clarke was seated on the cot nearest the wall, her pants had been removed and a blanket was covering her with enough room for the healer to work.  


“Are you going to introduce me, Lexa?” The man probed with a light tone. One that made Clarke curious to just who exactly this person was. She had heard no one other than Anya address Lexa with anything but her title. One thing that she did know is that this man already knew who she was- everyone seemed to.  


“Clarke, this is Zoren, my father..” Clarke looked back and forth and her jaw almost dropped before she caught it. She was surprised she hadn’t seen it before. Putting two and two together, she figured out that the woman must’ve been Lexa’s mother. She didn’t know what to say, so she smiled at him and continued to stay silent.  


“It is nice to finally meet you, Clarke. Now, this is not as bad as it appears to be,” Zoran began as he further inspected it. “If you do little activity, drink this,” he held up a container with cloth wrapped around it, “and apply this,” doing the same thing with yet another bowl of paste, “You should be able to move around normally again in two nights, plus this one.”  


Clarke raised her eyebrow, skeptical of being able to heal in such a short amount of time. Zoran chuckled and said, “We have created fast healing methods for our warriors, and have had years of practice to perfect them.” He then gestured toward the items that he handed to Clarke. “If you follow my instructions, it will work.” He walked to Lexa and placed a hand on her shoulder. “ _Will you be coming by?_ ”  


Lexa honestly did not know the answer to that question at the moment. Part of her wanted to, but the other part was more unsure. “ _We’ll see._ ”  


Clarke did not think too much on what they were saying in trigedasleng, guessing they were speaking about some family matter. Sooner than she expected he dismissed himself, “I will see the both of you tomorrow.” Instead of speaking the two girls just nodded their goodbyes.  


Once the door closed, Lexa walked over to Clarke. She had taken note of her not murmuring a single word since they last spoke. Her thoughts were that the blonde was still upset with her. When Clarke didn’t look up at her, she began to believe her thoughts were facts and sighed. “If you need anything, just call out.”  


Clarke had had something she wanted to say but didn’t know how, since her door of opportunity was closing she went with her gut and grabbed Lexa’s hand before she got too far away. “Wait, please.”  


Lexa turned around and looked at her, hoping she was wrong in the moments before. When Clarke stayed silent, and still hadn’t looked up, she supposed that she was only giving her hopes up again.  


“If you care,” Clarke began cautiously, “then I need you to do one thing.” Her eyes were now on Lexa’s.  


“Anything,” Lexa said confidently, squeezing the hand that was still grasping onto hers.  


“Kiss me..” It almost came out as if it was a question, but it was more than that- it provided them with a chance to live. One that the both so desperately needed. Clarke had to make sure that she was not the only one feeling something in their relationship.  


Lexa meant what she had said earlier- being with her could be dangerous, and was risky. She also knew that no one could see them, and no one would be interrupting them out of reverence for the two. As if she was on auto pilot, Lexa knelt down on her knees. Once she was eye to eye with the blonde, she just stared for a second- making sure it was what she wanted. When she saw nothing that told her otherwise, Lexa gingerly put her hand behind Clarke’s neck and leaned forward.  


When their lips met at last Clarke wrapped her arms around Lexa and left them to rest on the other girl’s shoulders. It was similar to their first one many months ago, just as soft. It wasn’t hungry or needy, but perfect for the time being. As their lips moving together in sync, Lexa parted briefly to turn her head, praying Clarke wouldn’t pull away this time. She didn’t. Everything was lighter around them- even the air, it was as if they weren’t in some crazy, apocalyptic world.  


When each of them needed to breath, they pulled away, but left their foreheads to rest against each other. They were both content with simply being close. Before long, Clarke pulled Lexa up to sit next to her on the cot and rested her head against the brunette’s shoulder. Lexa slouched down slightly in hopes of making Clarke more comfortable. The peacefulness of the moment did not last long as someone barged in, causing her to launch up and roughly bump Clarke’s head.  


Anya stared at them curiously until it dawned on her. It wasn’t hard to figure out when Lexa was beet red, something that was very rare to see, even for her. She had only seen it one other time, long ago, and that was when Costia was still alive. She smirked before saying, “Well it is about time.” Lexa released the breath that she didn’t even know she was holding before looking at a slightly annoyed Clarke who was rubbing her head.  


“Skrish, my apologies Clarke,” Lexa felt bad for reacting so badly, but her mind had automatically gone to the topic from their previous argument.  


Clarke looked at her strangely. “What does that mean?” She tried to test the word out on her tongue, but couldn’t manage to get it to sound the same way.  


Before Lexa could respond Anya jumped in, “You have much to learn, sky girl.” Lexa had only begun to lightly glare when she added, “Will the two of you be staying here or with me?” Anya had inherited her parents home after their passings. It was where the two usually stayed when they visited, but with Clarke now added to the mix, Anya wasn’t sure if the arrangement would stay the same.  


Lexa looked at Clarke, leaving the choice to be hers. Clarke didn’t have to think much on the matter. Where she currently was was not bad, but a little claustrophobic to say the least. “Is it far?”  


This time Lexa spoke before Anya could once again run her mouth. “It is the building just next door. Her parents bought it when she was a goufa- child, since she was always getting hurt.” Anya scoffed lightly before leaning against the wall.

 

“Is there room?” Clarke inquired, hoping she wouldn’t be making an intrusion.

 

“More than there is in here,” Anya responded. Clarke made her way to stand up, but Lexa put a hand on her shoulder and lightly pushed her back down.

 

“Do as my father said first.” Clarke could tell that Lexa wasn’t going to budge so she did as told. She had to down the drink because of how strong whatever was inside tasted, the herbal mixture was like second nature to her now.

 

When they finally exited Anya did as Zoran had by offering her arm to Clarke. Lexa stood on the blonde’s other side, wishing she could do the same, but was still not willing to risk it.

 

Before much of the short distance was traveled, an obviously snarky voice called out to them, “Looks like y _ou’_ _ve gone soft_ _, General._ ” Her title was spat in the utmost mocking manor. Clarke looked between Lexa and Anya, lost to the words of the language, but could clearly sense the tenseness around them.

 

Anya rolled her eyes and growled before turning her head, forcing an appearance of cool indifference. “ _Leave us before I show you just how soft I can be,_ ” her voice was as calm as the rest of her demeanor, but Clarke could feel her muscles tensing beneath the skin of her arm. When Lexa looked stared behind her pointedly, causing the girl to huff and stomped off.  


Once the three set foot in the house Clarke automatically noticed how dusty everything looked. It was obvious that it had been years since anyone had entered.

 

“So… Who was that?” Clarke couldn't help but let her curiosity get the best of her.

 

Anya huffed while wiping away some of the dust, and started to light candles to illuminate the area. Lexa shook her head before answering, “That.. was Bree. She was going to be Anya’s second until it was decided that I had better attributes for a warrior.”  


Clarke hummed in response. All she could think was that for such a small village, it sure seemed to be dramatic. When she yawned, Lexa brought the blonde’s arm around her neck and led her to the only other room in the house. It was mostly empty, with the exception of a raised bed and a small wardrobe. She sat Clarke on the bed, then lit just enough candles so that the two could properly see each other.

 

“Rest here, I will wake you when I have returned with food.” Lexa pulled the covers back enough for Clarke to slip in then brought them to rest under the girl’s arms.

  
Clarke was hungry, but even more so tired, so she nodded and smiled as Lexa lightly pushed a few blonde hairs from her forehead before leaning down to press a chaste kiss to it.

 

Lexa threw once last glance at Clarke as she reached the door, smiling when she saw the girl’s eyes were already closed.

 

When she reached the main living area the brunette was met with Anya who was crossing her arms. “ _You’re lucky that I was no one else_ _walking in on you two earlier_ _.”_

 

Lexa sighed before nodding, “ _I’m aware.. I’ve tried warning her, but she’s just.._ ” Lexa left it at that, not being able to find quite the right word.

 

Anya chuckled before suggesting “ _Stubborn?_ ” When Lexa chuckled as well and nodded, she added, “ _Well that would make two._ ”

 

Lexa rolled her lightheartedly eyes before saying, “ _I’m going to find food._ ”

 

Anya’s eyes lit up as she said, “ _Bring back a lot._ ”

  
Lexa grinned one last time before putting her facade back into place and walking into the village. All Anya could think was that she was right- this was very interesting to watch unfold.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s been a while y’all. I needed to work on myself before I could continue working on this story. If you’re still sticking with me after that hiatus then thank you. I hope you enjoy!

The days had passed by slowly for the blonde. Clarke, under Lexa’s careful supervision, remained in bed- with the exception of bathroom breaks. The last time Zoran checked on her, she was told that her healing process was on track.

It was the day when Clarke would finally be allowed to move around once again. Having to stay in that bed had made her quite restless, inadvertently causing her difficulty in controlling her moods. Clarke stood up after receiving the OK from the healer, everyone had a careful eye on her in case her leg gave out and she fell. When she put some pressure on her previously worse off leg, and didn’t feel anything, Clarke looked up at the other three and grinned.

When Lexa saw Clarke looking happy once again, an involuntary yet welcome smile broke out across her own face.

Clarke wanted to move around, do something- anything. “Can we explore the village?” The question was directed towards the brunette. At this point Zoran announced his goodbyes and left the room.

Lexa considered it cautiously for a second before deciding that a little exploration hardly ever hurt anybody. “Of course, is there anywhere specific you would like to go?”

Clarke hummed for a second before shrugging and answered with, “Anywhere other than here.”

Lexa chuckled as Anya mockingly scoffed before saying, “I will be at the training grounds.” Once it was said, Clarke began toying with the idea of properly learning how to defend herself. They all nodded their goodbyes, which finally left Lexa and Clarke alone.

 Lexa stepped forward in order to intertwine all of her fingers on both of her hands with Clarke’s. “If you are hungry, I can start by showing you the market’s stalls. There are not many, but the food is not bad. And-” She was cut off by Clarke’s index fingers on her lips.

“You’re rambling,” Clarke chuckled when Lexa turned a light red. “Anywhere where I am with you will be good enough for me.” They both smiled softly at each other before leaning in and indulging in their equal desires to a kiss- if was just as soft as their smiles.

Lexa sighed as her face fell slightly, but she didn’t pull away from the blonde. “It is still not safe to be sighted.. together..” Lexa whispered, yet still managed to sound resolute. She had a feeling that Clarke would be able to imply exactly what she meant by “together.” 

Clarke put it away for later discussion, just wanting the day to continue on with a positive upbeat. She sank into Lexa, letting her head fall to be supported by the brunette's shoulder. She wrapped her arms around Lexa’s neck, while at the same time Lexa’s wound themselves to be behind the small of Clarke’s back. They stood there for a few moments- breathing in each others scent, and being just OK hiding whatever it was they had to veil. 

Clarke pulled her upper half away and smirked. “One for the road?” When Lexa stared down at her with a quirked brow, she demonstrated by pushing forward into Lexa’s lips. It did not take long for the two to fall into an easy rhythm. The only thing that interrupted them was a deep growling from Clarke’s stomach. Lexa grinned as Clarke glared down at her organ as if she could physically see it. They moved to the door with linked hands. Lexa threw one last smile over her shoulder before transforming into her more stoic self, and dropping Clarke’s hand.

Lexa first led her to the stand that housed her favorite meat, followed by some of the fruit stalls. Clarke had never tasted anything with such flavor as she had in these moments. The Ark was full of mostly freeze and air dried foods, and those were all rationed as was. They had developed a form of agricultural farming, but it all looked gray compared to what was found on the ground. 

While Clarke looked around and took in everything around her, Lexa kept alert. After a moment of staring at her, Clarke caught the commander’s glance at her from the corner of her eye before continuing on forward and nodding at the people that addressed her.

“You know,” Clarke waited to gain Lexa’s attention before continuing. “I don’t see why allowing your people to see the real you is viewed as weakness. Vulnerability is not a bad thing if you can control it. At least at a place like this, where you’re among harmless people and not an army.”

Lexa chuckled humorlessly before saying, “No one in this world is harmless, Clarke. Everyone has the ability to do both bad and good- it’s just a matter of which they so choose.” She realized she herself had a choice in that moment. She could _live_ in the or simply _survive_. Lexa allowed her heart to decide. “Come, Clarke. I want to show you something.” She pulled the blonde’s arm in a sharp turn towards their new destination.

Clarke followed wordlessly. The outskirts of the village were behind them. When Clarke saw no one else she moved closer to Lexa and nudged her elbow. When the brunette looked at her she was surprised to see a mischievous glint in her eyes, but even more so when the woman took off into a sprint in front of her. In the blink of an eye she became a ghost entering the trees. Clarke ran in the direction she saw last saw the brunette. She didn’t keep up the pace for long and was soon out of breath. She took a few slow steps before feeling herself being pulled up from under her arms. When she was placed on a thick branch against the trunk she gasped before it was silenced by a kiss. She fell into the easy moments before opening her eyes and pushing against Lexa’s shoulder with one hand while balancing herself with the other.

“You scared the shit out of me!” When Clarke felt steady enough her free hand flew up to cover her erratically beating heart. 

Lexa’s eyes bulged and all she could respond with was, “Uhh..” She considered going back to Anya’s for a change of clothes, until Clarke started laughing and shaking her head. 

“It’s just a phrase that means you really startled me.” Clarke continued laughing as Lexa let out a breathy sigh and fell against the branch with relief. Clarke leaned forward to catch her but only made herself unsteady. When her weight shifted too far to the side and she found a hand supporting her by the waist. Her wide eyes were met with entertained green ones.

“I do not fall, Clarke.” After seeing the blonde blush and look down, Lexa kneeled on her toes while pulling Clarke’s chin up. “I could teach you. We still have not seen what I wanted to show you.”

Clarke knew there would be few to none that would be able to help her more than Lexa. The way she walked alone was captivating- when she stepped she was on air. Fighting with her was more than a battle, it was a dance of wills. Lexa reached out and Clarke took her hand as she steadily found her sense of balance. A kiss was planted on her lips, but to Clarke’s dismay it did not last long.

“It is a mental battle as much as physical, do not psych yourself out or you will fall,” Lexa began as she pulled herself up the closest overhead branch. As Clarke tried to mimic her motions her foot slipped and she was yet agin caught by strong arms. “If you do, I will catch you.”

The rest of the journey up went slowly, Lexa could have been up and down five times by the time her head broke out over the leaves. She happily kept along with Clarke though.

When Clarke finally saw past branches and leaves her breath caught in her throat. The specific tree they were in was taller than all of the others surrounding them. She could see smoke from neighboring villages in the distance, trees among trees, and areas of grass that stretched for miles.

“This is.. breathtaking.” As Clarke looked around, Lexa kept her eyes on the blonde. After a while longer, Clarke finally returned Lexa’s stare. “Is this what you wanted to show me?”

Lexa nodded and released a content sigh. “This is where I used to run off to when I was a child. Bluma, she showed it to me one time when she found time to visit. She was the first one to teach me how to climb trees. After she was killed, this is where I found solace and peace from my memories in the village until I was taken away from it.”

Clarke did not know what to say. For one she was glad that a younger Lexa had a safe place, but she also felt pity for everything she went through at such a young age. With care, Clarke moved towards Lexa and leaned her head against the other girl’s shoulder. She would give what comfort she was able to.

After a cool breeze blew past them Clarke shivered and Lexa said, “I will have warmer clothes made for you in Polis. For now we should return to the warmth of the village.” Clarke nodded and followed the brunette down the tree, surprised that she only slipped a couple of times. When both of their feet touched the ground Clarke motioned for Lexa to come to her with her index finger. Lexa smirked and walked at a tantalizingly slow pace towards her. Clarke got impatient and pushed forward herself until her lips met Lexa’s.

Lexa wrapped her arms around Clarke’s waist and had soft hands tangled in her hair. When Clarke’s tongue grazed her bottom lip, Lexa eagerly granted entrance. This kiss was more passionate than the others. Lexa chuckled when she heard Clarke’s breath become heavy before long and pulled away before whispering in her ear, “We need to work on your stamina.” When she pulled back Clarke’s eyes were darker and her pupils were wide.

“I’m sure we could think of some way to help with that.” When Clarke leaned forward she was met with air. When she opened her eyes she saw Lexa grinning just before her reach. Teasing was not Clarke’s favorite- on the receiving end that is, but two could play at that game.

Clarke was almost too busy devising a plan of revenge for Lexa that she just barely caught onto the new path they were taking. She glanced around and everything looked familiar, yet at the same time new. “Where are we going?”

Lexa looked behind her at the blonde beauty before responding, “I want to see how my warriors are performing.”

Clarke nodded even though Lexa was no longer looking at her. The idea of it all sparked an uncommon interest in her, one that was usually reserved for drawing or medicine. After a few minutes she could hear metal scraping against metal as blades clashed together.

There was no formal area for training. It was a decent enough sized patch of land that had dummies scattered about. Some were impaled by arrows while others had slashes and missing body parts. There was a thin circle around moving bodies. Most of the people there were warriors, but other people had joined in on viewing.

Lexa sighed lightheartedly while shaking her head. Anya really did know how to draw a crowd when she wanted to.

Clarke raised a brow and was about to question the brunette before she saw a familiar flash of blonde hair and automatically wondered how many people the woman had already bested.

As the two neared the crowd, Lexa straightened her shoulders and went to adjust her sash before she realized that she had left it in the house. Clarke saw and smirked to herself.

Once one person noticed, everyone’s eyes seemed to fall onto Lexa and Clarke. People parted to form a path in the direction that the two were headed. Names and nods fell from the people closest to the pair. Once they reached the center, they saw Anya sparring with an obviously new warrior. When he caught a glimpse of Lexa he froze and looked at her for a second too long and was later swept of his feet and onto the ground. A small amount of dust rose as he landed with a thud. Anya had her sword to his neck, her face expressionless as she said, “The first thing I will offer you is never let your attention be swayed when in battle. Always keep it on your opponent.” She dug the point of her sword into the dirt as she stretched her arms over her head and verbally acknowledged the newcomers for the first time, “Heda, Wanheda.”

Clarke and Lexa both nodded in response. The blonde began tapping her foot excitedly, feeling an exhilarating rush of energy from the shortly lived bout. Without much thinking she called out to the woman who was still pulling at her muscles, “Feel up to a rematch, General?” Clarke heard a sharp intake of breath from the person next to her and knew Lexa wouldn’t be thrilled by the idea, so she walked in front of her without looking into the woman’s eyes. Clarke paused when she finally got an idea for payback.

Lexa knew Clarke would not face her, but she shared a brief moment of eye contact with Anya. She knew her former mentor would not back down for not just her own pride, but all of their sakes. The commander was proved right when she heard, “As you wish, Wanheda.” Her mind went elsewhere when Clarke bent down a few feet in front of her. It took all of her attention not to stare at Clarke’s butt as she stretched her legs.

Anya caught onto what Clarke was doing and snorted at Lexa’s poor attempt of looking anywhere but the other blonde. As a result Lexa changed her focus to glaring at Anya.

Once Clarke finally stood up, she froze momentarily as she realized that she did not have a single weapon to use. The sound of a sword being unsheathed behind her drew her attention. Before she even turned around, Clarke knew who was offering her aid. She didn’t want to, but out of respect the blonde looked into Lexa’s eyes. It was at that moment that Clarke felt a bubbling amount of nerves hit her. Neither could tell the amount of time they were looking at each other, but both of them knew it was probably for too long. Lexa would provide Clarke with what strength she could- even if it was just by sharing her gaze.

As was tradition for the highest ranking warrior watching, Lexa stepped forward to announce the rules. Just as she opened her mouth another person came forward and interrupted, “Our revered general must be tired, why not go up against someone that has not been worn out?” Bree turned her head to Anya before saying, “Or do you want to test your new pets’ skills?”

Clarke was slightly confused before it clicked. Bree was jealous, and she would use it to her advantage. Just as realization hit her, Clarke heard Lexa growl and grabbed Bree’s attention before the commander could do something worse. “Even though you are not worth as much of my time as she is, I guess I could spare some of my efforts on you.” She ended by looking at Anya for approval and saw recognition in her eyes before they both nodded to each other.

Lexa was too consumed by a mixture of rage and worry to catch the silent signals, so when Anya reached her side she whispered, “ _She’s playing her,_ ” near her ear. She was still worried for Clarke, but Lexa silently admitted that she may have underestimated the blonde- a habit she thought she’d grown out of. Lexa quickly thought back on all of the events that had transpired and involved Bree. When she realized Anya was correct, Lexa shared a knowing look with her before speaking in a strong voice, “This is not a fight to the death. Neither of you are allowed to attack for the kill. It is only to be like any other simple sparing match. Begin..”

There was one thing that Clarke learned, and that was never to attack first. As for how to have a proper stance, she just tried to mimic what she had seen Lexa do. Bree lunged for her newly healed leg, which Clarke anticipated and jumped back.

That would not have been a clean hit and everyone in the crowd knew it. Lexa fumed until she saw Clarke use Bree’s momentum to her advantage. Clarke waited as the older woman spun herself around and knocked her legs out of under her with the blunt side of Lexa’s sword.

Anya grinned as she saw Clarke use her finishing move from earlier. Before Clarke could complete it, Bree jumped up with wild eyes and uncontrollably forced her sword downward in an overhead arching motion. Clarke just managed to avoid being hit, but could feel the cool metal slide past her arm. Her eyes followed Bree’s motions as her weapon entered the earth. Without a moments thoughts Clarke spun around Bree and put Lexa’s sword to her neck.

Knowing that a battle could change in a moments notice, Lexa quickly announced, “Wanheda is the winner.”

It was quiet and still for a moment after that, until there was a flash of movement followed by Clarke being pushed to the side. While regaining her balance, the blonde looked up to see Anya holding Bree by the wrist with one hand and ripping the weapon from it with her free one. She angrily pronounced, “ _This is one reason why I did not make you my second.._ ” She glared at her a moment longer before continuing in English, “There is honor in defeat if you know how to accept it, and in this moment you have none. Leave, now.”

Clarke looked at Lexa again and could see her hand clenching and unclenching at her side. At the new tension in the air, the crowd finally dispersed into the activities that they all had previously been doing. Clarke still hadn’t moved- not sure of what to do until Anya discreetly nodded her head in the direction of her house. Lexa returned to her side before Clarke could even think to look for her.

As the three navigated back into the village, Lexa protectively walked closer to Clarke. They were left alone as everyone who saw the irritated looks in the older women’s eyes left them to be in peace. When everyone was finally back inside and the door was closed, Lexa pulled Clarke’s arm to inspect the side that the sword had touched. When she saw that no blood had been drawn, Lexa dropped the arm and crossed her own.

“You are lucky that she let her anger control her and her fighting,” Lexa began. “Why?” When Clarke only looked at her, Lexa rolled her eyes and elaborated, “Why would you fight, Clarke? Are you trying to injure yourself again?” Lexa brought her right hand to hold the bridge of her nose while the other rested on her hip.

“To start of with, it was only supposed to be a simple sparring match.” When Lexa opened her mouth, Clarke shook her head and took the brunette’s hands in hers- leaving them to hang between the two. “I don’t completely understand why I did it. If anything, it was a spur of the moment type of thing. To put it simply, I craved to fight like I never before.”

Lexa thought about Clarke’s words. She too was familiar with the desire to feel the thrill of battle. As the brunette considered Clarke’s reasons further, Anya spoke up, “You truly have the soul of Wanheda.” When Clarke looked at Anya, she saw a look of wonderment in her eyes. Once Clarke realized what the woman meant, she pulled away from Lexa. A familiar sense of anxiety overcame the rush that accompanied the win.

Before she could further panic, Lexa reclaimed her hands and pulled her close. Anya silently left the room to let the two speak in privacy. When Lexa no longer heard the quiet padding of feet she ran hand through the blonde locks resting on her shoulder in an effort to calm Clarke down. 

“You do not need to be afraid, Clarke. Being Heda causes the same thing to happen to me. Do not fear who you are. I wish you could see what I do.” She paused only to pull Clarke away enough to look in her watering eyes. “You are not alone. I will admit that controlling the urges will not always be easy, but I know you can do it. You are stronger than you realize. That does not mean you should go around untrained.” 

As a small smile came from Clarke, she began thinking how lucky she was to have Lexa. She was convinced that she’d be dead if it wasn’t for the commander and her general. “Is that an offer?” Clarke inquired with a slight smirk. The more she played it over in her head, the more enticing the idea became to Clarke. 

Lexa smiled and leaned her forehead against Clarke’s. “Only if you want it to be.”

Clarke hummed for a few moments, pretending to ponder the idea when she already knew her answer. “Does this mean I would be Anya’s grand-second?”

Lexa pulled back enough to cock her head to the side. She played the word though her head a few times before realizing what Clarke meant and chuckled. “If you want to think of it that way, then yes. Even if you do not ask, she would want to oversee some of your training.” The brunette paused for a second before adding, “When I have duties to attend to, she will train you.”

Clarke smiled leaned her head against Lexa’s shoulder. “Make sure she doesn’t try to kill me?”

“No promi-” Lexa was cut off by the door being thrown open. She pulled Clarke behind her, only calming when she saw it was just Anya. The look on her face caused an unsettling feeling in both Lexa and Clarke’s stomachs.

Anya roughly pulled an unrecognized man into the room and slammed the door shut. Clarke could feel the vibration it set off in her feet. “ _Speak,_ ” was all Anya could force out. The other three could tell that she was greatly restraining herself. 

The newcomer stood tall after straightening himself out. It wasn’t that his face had no expression that disturbed Clarke, no she had seen that many times within the grounders, what disturbed her was that his eyes had no emotion at all. When Lexa saw him look over her shoulder to Clarke, she moved to make eye contact with him and glared. The blonde was able to see his face enough to recognize the markings on his face as Azgeda. 

“ _A challenge has been issued towards you for after the summit_ _.”_ Lexa puffed her chest out defiantly, knowing that if whatever the messenger was here for it was not meant for celebration. The moment he finally got some resemblance of humanity on his face, Clarke wished that he hadn’t. While his eyes were still filled with nothing, a vile smile broke across his face. “Winner receives Wanheda.”

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to quickly thank everyone that left reviews. Now that that is over, I hope y’all enjoy the chapter!

Clarke was looking between Lexa and Anya, both of them having barely concealed fury. She wasn’t able to translate the first thing the man had said, but she did know that it had to do with her.

“Leave,” was all Lexa commanded, even though she easily could have run her sword through him. He turned on his heel and left cooly, not even a grunt in response. She saw the wheels turning in Anya’s head and knew what she wanted to suggest. “No one fights for me.”

It only took Clarke a second to start connecting the dots. When she figured it out she stepped out from behind Lexa and moved to be in front of her. “What did he say..?”

Lexa put her arms behind her back and took a deep breath before muttering, “The queen of Azgeda has issued a challenge towards me.”

At first, all Clarke could feel was worry, then she was overcome by rage. She made a move for the door and was promptly blocked by Anya. Clarke saw red, and it was aimed at the messenger. She began swinging her fists around blindly, not even noticing when she jammed an elbow into Anya’s nose. The only thing that jarred her out of her rage was getting the wind knocked out of her. She crouched down, gasping for air, with her hands placed on her knees. Dots clouded her vision, Clarke thought she was going to pass out, but then she started hearing whispers of her name. They became increasingly loud until she heard it clearly.

“Clarke!” Lexa was crouched down, looking up at Clarke. Anya was holding her know bloody nose, attempting to make the flow stop. When she saw Clarke’s eyes finally focus on her own, Lexa said, “You can not hurt the messenger.”

The blonde could barely remember what was going through her head not even a minute before. There was a faint reminiscence of irritation, but that was it. She felt weak- just squatting over like she was was enough to make her shake.

Lexa saw how unwell Clarke was quickly beginning to look and guided her over to a nearby chair. She had heard tales of Wanheda’s spirit, mainly from Anya, but seeing the emotion that it held in person was completely different. Clarke was more Wanheda in that moment than she was her actual self. When the blonde didn’t look like she was about to pass out, Lexa explained, “If a messenger is killed then it is a declaration of war from the people that killed him or her. We did not let you attack him, because it would have been your people against Azgeda. Even with guns, Skaikru would have been annihilated.”

It took Clarke a few seconds to process, but she was grateful that she was restrained. Having more blood on her hands would cause too much pain. The thought alone of almost having inadvertently ending the existence of everyone she used to know made her sick to the stomach. “Is Skaikru no longer allied with Trikru?”

Lexa paused, trying to think of the best way to answer Clarke. “Yes, but whereas that is just an alliance, Azgeda is in the coalition. Because killing a messenger goes against law, I would not have been able to aid your people in any way. If Trikru sided with Skaikru then they would be forced from the twelve clans.”

Clarke nodded along to Lexa’s words, understanding that she had much more to learn about the grounder’s culture. She decided to save her questions for a later time. All she could focus on was pain in her abdominal region. Clarke leaned back against the chair and groaned.

In an attempt to lighten the mood, Anya moved to where Clarke could see her and asked, “Want to trade,” while gesturing to her now bruised, but no longer gushing nose.

“You knocked the air out of me, it’s payback.”

“One, you hit me first. Two, Lexa did that to you, not me. I would have done worse if you did not calm down.”

Clarke felt slightly guilty for hurting Anya, but knew she had experienced much worse in her past, so she mumbled out a barely audible apology before turning to Lexa and raising an eyebrow. The brunette met her expression and matched it.

“I am sorry for your discomfort, truly, I do not like seeing you in pain, but it could have been much worse if you battled.” Lexa did feel bad, but did not believe she was in the wrong. “If you would like, that can be one of the first things I train you to do, second.” As she said the last word, Lexa gave Clarke a small smile.

Anya’s eyes widened in surprise. “You are taking on a second?”

Lexa stood up with her back straight and chin up, simply responding with, “Yes.” She used the tone that she pulls on her advisors to get them to stop arguing.

Clarke felt like there was something that she was not being told and curiously probed, “Is there a problem with that?”

“No,” Lexa responded. “Although it has never been done before.”

“Then why me?” Clarke inquired.

“You are worthy.” It was a simple response, but Lexa’s words meant a lot to Clarke, and both of them knew it.

Clarke leaned forward, wrapping her arms around Lexa’s neck and breathed in her calming scent. Lexa returned the gesture only with her arms around Clarke’s waist. The simple act allowed the two of them to unwind from the events of the day. Although it did not last long because Anya quipped, “If she is as stubborn as you were, which I believe she is, you are going to have a fun time.”

Clarke smirked and hid her face in Lexa’s hair, knowing just how headstrong she could be, but would not admit it out loud. Lexa held Clarke tighter, leaving her head to rest atop the blondes. When Lexa felt Clarke sigh, she asked, “What is wrong?”

Clarke wondered if she should tell Lexa the full truth or only half of it. She didn’t want to lie, but she also didn’t want to add to the stress she knew was already pushing on Lexa. “It’s just… It has been so peaceful here, minus Bree.” She shook her head lightly before continuing. “I just feel like we never get a break- never get a chance to live, truly live.”

“That is a price leaders must pay at times.” Lexa had experienced that the hard way. She thought back to when Costia was murdered, even then she did not pause her duties for a single day. She did not allow herself to grieve until it was on her own time, she had no sleep that night.

“I know, I just wish it was different. I wish we were not forced into these positions.”

Lexa pulled back, putting a chaste kiss to Clarke’s forehead. “If we had not, then we might have never met.”

Clarke pondered that for a second. If she had not gone, then Bellamy most likely would have. Knowing how reckless he could be at times made Clarke grateful she had been the one to meet the grounder commander. One thing she began to notice was that Lexa seemed to always find the positive out of a bad situation, and she loved that. In the world they resided, the world Lexa grew up in, Clarke didn’t know how that was possible.

Clarke desired for the moment to last longer, but wanted an answer to the question that was gnawing away at her. “When do we have to leave?”

“The challenge will take place after our summit, it is a week away. Since you can now ride better, the journey will last roughly one day, two at the most. Azgeda’s queen, Nia, will have someone fight in her place. Who that will be I do not yet know.” Lexa had never actually seen Nia battle, she always had someone fight for her. It made her wonder if it was because of fear, cowardliness, or lack of skill. In the brunette’s eyes, it was not the honorable thing to do. She would never allow, let alone order, someone to fight a challenge meant for her.

Clarke pulled back and looked at Lexa with a creased brow. Lexa could read the worry etched across the blonde’s face and comfortingly soothed, “Do not worry, I have been in many fights- some to the death, some not. If I am defeated then my soul will choose the next commander. Just promise me one thing.”

Without a seconds hesitation, Clarke replied with, “Anything.”

“If you observe the challenge, stay by Anya.” Lexa hadn’t noticed the woman leave the room, but she returned when she heard her name. They shared a brief moment of eye contact before Lexa continued. “She will protect you if I do not make it out alive. You are no prize, and I will not let you be treated like one.”

“I trained you well. You will live to fight again.” Anya and Lexa both nodded at each other before the elder one exited the room again.

The idea of losing Lexa made her feel sick. She was finally believing that ‘not yet’ was in the past, along with the bumps that had formed along their interlocking paths. “OK,” was all she could force out of her lumpy feeling throat.

Lexa looked down and could see easily tell how much was being held back. She could read the fear in the blue eyes. She not only wanted to win the challenge to protect Clarke, but also so that the blonde would not shed her tears. Lexa again planted a kiss on Clarke’s forehead, followed by one on the nose, and a last to her soft lips. It did not last long, but the emotion behind it spoke volumes. When the two pulled apart, Lexa was glad to see that Clarke was now smiling.

An idea sparked in Lexa’s head. She pulled Clarke up from her seat and gently tugged her hand towards the door. The confused look on Clarke’s face only made her grin expand further. She answered the silent question with an amused, “Come.”

Clarke could not help but go along with whatever Lexa was planning, she’d do anything to keep the brunette smiling. When Lexa opened the door, Clarke left with a sideways glance to eager green eyes. She was surprised to see that Lexa was not holding up her commander facade, as they walked through the village, her expression never once faltered. Clarke took note of the few people that saw them, they all looked relieved to see a content commander.

Lexa knew that eyes had landed on her, but could not mask her excitement.

After a few minutes, Clarke recognized the area that her and Lexa had raced through earlier that day. She still was not a hundred percent sure on where they were going though.

Lexa hadn’t done this in several years, but she was eager to share it with Clarke. When they reached the right tree, Lexa stopped Clarke and locked her fingers together. “Up you go.”

Clarke’s smile only grew when she recognized the spot. Although it did look different when she wasn’t being unexpectedly pulled into a tree. She stepped on Lexa’s hands and let herself be hoisted up. Clarke required less help than the first time she was in the tree, but gladly let the brunette help her at certain parts.

Lexa settled amongst the branches first, tapping the spot in front of her once she was stable. She had visited the tree so many times in the past that a small seat had been formed.

Clarke inspected the area, and when she was sure that she wouldn’t fall through she carefully moved to sit in between Lexa’s legs and leaned back. Lexa’s arms wound their way around Clarke's waist to further secure her.

The sight was beautiful, Clarke was in no way denying that, but what happened in the next few minutes was absolutely mesmerizing. She gasped as the sun began to set, the sky turned into all different shades of color, ranging from reds and oranges to pinks and purples.

Lexa watched, loving the amazement that quickly spread across Clarke’s face. The colors of the sunset itself was being reflected in her blue eyes.

Clarke couldn’t help but state what was on her mind. “This is breath taking.” The sunset was one of her favorite things about being on the ground. In space, she could see stars, that was all. It was nice, but nothing compared to what was before her eyes.

“You are.” Lexa hadn’t meant to say it, she was aiming for it is, but she’d be lying if she said it was not the truth. Clarke _was_ breath taking. Watching the colors dance across the blonde’s irises caused her to become entranced in the sight.

Clarke turned her head past her shoulder, just enough to see a light rosy color on Lexa’s cheeks. She found it cute, Lexa not being so composed, it was an uncommon sight. Clarke closed the few inches between her and Lexa’s lips. She didn’t know if it was the altitude or what, but her head started to spin.

The kiss was slow and steady, Clarke and Lexa savored the moment for what it was- a small chance to live. Clarke was the first to pull away. She tried to turn around more and felt a branch shift under her, reminding the blonde of where they were. To her surprise, she only flinched, but did hold onto Lexa more firmly. The two laughed. Lexa stopped first and basked in Clarke’s laugh, her happiness, her. Clarke only stopped when her stomach began to ache.

“Wow,” Clarke started as she rubbed a few stray tears from under her eyes. “I haven't laughed like in a long time.”

Lexa made a humming noise before responding. “I will have to work hard for it to happen again then.”

“You know what you really need to work hard for?” Clarke asked with a look of discomfort on her face.

“What would that be?” Lexa asked with a combination of confusion and subtle concern.

“This weather, it’s so cold..” Clarke complained. It was something that she never really had to experience on the Ark, which was only ever one temperature, so she had not built up a tolerance.

Lexa lightly rolled her eyes in response. “You will have better clothes soon, until then I will just have to keep you warm.” The sentence was punctuated with a wink.

“Smooth, commander, smooth.” Clarke grinned until she felt Lexa preparing for their descent down, at that point she groaned. Going up was easier than going down for the blonde. Clarke was glad when her feet struck dirt. She used the moment immediately following it to stretch her muscles. Clarke heard a thump behind her, signaling that the other woman had rejoined her on solid ground. She had just begun to walk when she felt an arm snake its way across her shoulder.

Lexa looked at Clarke and smiled. “I would provide you with my jacket, but it is not with me. I am many things, although a fabricator is not one of them.” She took pride in that, telling the truth, which some might find ironic, but it is a quality she very deeply values. Her honor code came second to being commander though. Heda had to lie at times, but Lexa did not.

Clarke grinned while wrapping her own arm around Lexa’s waist. She didn’t know how, but Lexa was always warm. The brunette was like her own personal heater.

They walked like that, side by side, even when they neared the village. Clarke went to unwind her arm, but Lexa only held her closer.

“The sun is at rest, many people are in their homes. There is no need to separate.” If Lexa was being honest, she just wanted to stay close to Clarke. The blonde made her, a person who had been training in the art of battle for well over half of her life, feel safe.

Clarke was surprised, but she did not question the woman. She knew how hard it was for Lexa to let her walls down, because of that she stayed more alert, and she was warm the entire time.

The two were still like that when they walked through the door of Anya’s house. Lexa looked around, trying to find her former mentor. When she did not find her, Lexa supposed she had gone to hunt for the upcoming journey to save time. When she heard a small yawn from beside her, Lexa smirked and said, “Do not try to deny it, you are tired, Clarke.”

Clarke simply nodded in agreement, too sleepy to argue. The days’ activities had caught up to her, hitting her out of nowhere. She let Lexa guide her drowsy body into the room she had been sleeping the last few nights.

Lexa grinned the entire way, even though they didn’t have to travel very far. She knew the excitement from everything that happened would wear off eventually, but this quickly is something she would see happen to a child that at too much sweet food.

The moment Clarke neared it close enough to do successfully, she flopped onto the bed and kicked off her boots. She rolled over and looked at Lexa who was standing slightly awkwardly. She stuck her lip out and said, “I thought you were going to keep me warm.”

Lexa fancied the idea, of spending the night next to Clarke, but she hadn’t done something so intimate in many years. Many women had thrown themselves at her, but she never took on any of them, in her eyes it was disrespectful to Costia’s memory. The brunette couldn’t help but think, Clarke isn’t just any other woman.

Clarke felt giddy all of a sudden, still tired, but she was excited to share an actual bed with Lexa. It gave her a certain sense of security.

Lexa sat on the side of the bed before asking, “Do you prefer to hold or be held?”

“You mean big spoon and little spoon?” Clarke smiled when she realized Lexa wouldn’t understand what she was saying yet again. “Big spoon is the holder, little spoon is the person being held.” Realizing she had not responded to the actual question, Clarke replied softly, “I am fine with both, but.. can you hold me tonight?”

Lexa nodded while removing her boots, weapons, and shoulder guard. She then laid her head on the same pillow as Clarkes since their was only one, not that that bothered either of them. The bed was quite small, yet surprisingly cozy at the same time. She wrapped one arm around Clarke’s waist and left the other to rest underneath her own head.

Clarke was warm, definitely warm.. She ignored the feeling and snuggled into Lexa, leaving no space between them. She mimicked the brunette’s position, the only difference being that her hand was over Lexa’s. When she felt a gentle kiss to the base of her shoulder, Clarke smiled sleepily and whispered, “Goodnight, Lexa.”

To which came the reply, “Goodnight, Clarke.”

Lexa chose to stay awake until she felt Clarke’s breathing even out. Only then did she finally allow her eyes to droop closed.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was a bit iffy in the last chapter, I almost rewrote it completely but wanted to get something out before the holidays. I flew home and wanted to focus my time on family and then I got sick, sooo.. I apologize for how late this chapter is. The next chapters will be longer than these last few. I hope y’all enjoy!

Lexa was the first to wake up. Her arm was now draped over Clarke’s back- their positions hadn’t changed much other than that. The brunette would have been more than wiling to stay like that for the remainder of the day: Basking in the sunlight that came through the window, and snuggling with Clarke. It was ideal in Lexa’s mind, but she had something to do.

Without trouble, Lexa stealthily pulled herself away from the sleeping beauty. She silently took the items she had removed the night before and left the room, leaving the door cracked behind her.

Before leaving, Lexa scrawled a note to the best of her ability. She was glad that she chose to bring a pencil and a couple pieces of parchment, being prepared for anything really came in handy sometimes. The commander had awoken much later than usual, and decided to let Clarke do the same.

Having an idea of where her general might be, Lexa ventured towards her destination. When they visited years ago, the area she had in mind was always where they would hunt. Depending on the season, it would be rich with deer, rabbits, squirrels, and sometimes boar.

Once Lexa exited the village, she began a light jog, trying to find Anya as quickly as possible. She only slowed when entering the more wooded area, so no game would be alerted of her presence. After a few minutes, Lexa opted to enter the trees. As she danced from branch to branch, Lexa caught sight of who she was looking for.

Anya was tugging along a young buck by some rope around its’ antlers. Lexa jumped gracefully from the tree, landing on a small pile of leaves yet still not creating a single noise. She performed the stunt in such a way that the other woman would see her shadow.

Anya knew it was Lexa, only because she taught the commander not to make such carless mistakes. “Heda,” she greeted as she stopped what she was doing to nod at Lexa. Not much luck had come the night before, so she decided to camp among the trees, that way she could still hunt from above if anything were to be unlucky enough to come near her. She had just found the buck an hour ago and was headed back towards the village when Lexa found her.

“ _We must leave soon. I want to begin the ride today._ ”

“ _You left the sky girl just to tell me this? I know you well enough to sense when you are wanting to leave. What is it you really want to talk about?”_ Anya probed- she had an idea, but wanted to hear it for herself.

There was a brief pause before Lexa responded. “ _Do not let Azgeda near Clarke. I want you to act as h_ _e_ _r personal guard until the challenge is over. No one is to know I have taken a second until a formal announcement has been made. The_ _summit_ _would be an option for such an event, but not every_ _one_ _has excepted Skaikru yet.”_

Anya recognized the tone Lexa was using, it was one that implied the brunette had plan- whether it be good or bad. “ _What do you have planned, Commander?_ ”

Lexa knew that Anya was loyal, one of her most loyal warriors at that, but she was unsure of whether or not Anya would approve of her scheme. “ _Skaikru is to become the thirteenth clan._ ” Lexa did not have to wait long for a reaction. Anya’s brows furrowed together, while her lips parted briefly.

The older woman went to speak, but did not even know what to say. If it was up to her, Skaikru would have been ended long before. They killed three hundred of her warriors, but then they took down Mount Weather. They all put aside their differences and worked together to defeat the Maunon. In Anya’s eyes, they, or at least Clarke, had made up for what her people had done. “ _Would Skaikru accept this_?”

Lexa asked herself this question when the whole idea first popped up in her head. If she based her guess off of how Clarke treated her when they found her in the woods, then they might not. Her advisors might not. The clans might not- Azgeda surely would not. “ _They will not survive without help. Clarke is the one that needs to accept it, she is their true leader._ ”

“ _They have not been in contact in months, how do you know the sky people will accept her decision?_ ” If Anya knew one thing about the invaders from the sky, it was that they were all stubborn and had strange traditions.

“ _I don’t, but them being i_ _n the coalition will bring peace between our people and theirs. We have both wronged each other. If they choose to hold grudges then so be it. Someone has to make the first_ _move._ _”_ Lexa stood tall as she awaited a response. She could see Anya ponder and waited patiently; it was a lot to take in.

The elder of the two held her arm out and said, “ _I stand with you.”_

Lexa was relived and it showed on her face. She grabbed the other woman’s arm and the pair shook once. They then reworked the rope so that Lexa could assist with hauling the buck.

It did not take long for the pair to reach the village. They were greeted with excited eyes and thankful expressions. The same thing crossed both of their minds.

“We can hunt again at a later time,” The commander whispered. Their leave still hadn’t been announced to anyone publicly, so Lexa easily understood the misunderstanding. She ate well more frequently than these people did, so giving the deer up did not bother her in the slightest.

Anya however started grumbling, “Yeah yeah…” She thought to mention how the we that scored the buck was in reality just her, but she kept her mouth shut. She was not one to complain and didn’t plan on beginning anytime soon.

Lexa rolled her eyes lightly and let to other woman sulk quietly.

They arrived to Clarke drawing on the back of the note that Lexa had left for her. She stopped to greet them with a friendly smile. The blonde abruptly stood up when she sighted the trace amounts of blood on Anya’s figure.

“Calm down sky girl. It is not mine.”

Judging my Anya’s apparently poor mood, Clarke decided to leave it alone. Lexa leaned near her ear and whispered, “She can be difficult to deal with when hungry. It is best to just ignore her.”

Clarke heard a small growl come from the hangry general and chose to avoid eye contact, understanding what Lexa meant. She herself was feeling empty but decided that stating so would not be beneficial to the situation. When she saw the other two preparing to leave, Clarke did the same. She only had her small pack and slung it over her shoulder. Lexa and Anya had slightly more than her, but not by much.

Anya exited her home first, followed by Clarke, and lastly Lexa- who let her hand linger on the small of the blonde’s back until they were both out of the doorway.

“Are we saying bye to your parents?” Clarke questioned.

Lexa stiffened and Anya stopped to judge the brunette’s response. There was a pregnant pause, Clarke stood in between her traveling partners awkwardly. She knew there was some tension when they first encountered Zoran and his wife, but the man seemed welcoming enough. When Lexa closed her eyes and sighed, Anya took the message and altered her destination.

They arrived in front of a house near the healers hut. “Three,” Anya said, causing Clarke to look at her curiously. In was the followed by, “Two.. One..” After the last word Lexa knocked on the door. Her mother opened it with a surprised (expression) on her face.

They were greeted by the green eyed woman that they had encountered a few days prior. “ _You’re actually saying (goodbye)?”_ The woman’s tone was not snarky, but genuinely caught off guard.

To break to silence, Clarke cleared her throat and said, “I never got your name.”

“Nina,” was the only response that the blonde received. She turned her attention to her daughter before asking, “ _I suppose that you are unsure of when you will return?”_

Lexa strained herself to look Nina in the eyes. “ _You are correct._ ”

Anya looked at Clarke and nodded her head to the side. Wanting to give the two some privacy, Clarke took the nonverbal cue and followed he general.

“Nina knows little English, that is why her response was short.”

Clarke inclined her head in acknowledgment. “I didn’t think she was being rude or anything. It was all just awkward.” She did like how she met someone who did not seem amazed by her title though. It was refreshing.

Anya was able to read between the lines enough to spot the question. “Her mother had a hard time accepting that Lexa wanted to become a warrior. When we learned of her nightblood.. Nina became very distant.”

“Nightblood?” Clarke questioned.

“Nightbloods are the people that have a chance to become heda. Lexa would be able to explain it better than I,” Anya responded. In truth, that was all she knew. That was all most people knew. Not much is taught about it to someone unless they themselves have the black blood.

Clarke looked back in time to see a teary eyed Nina briefly hug her daughter. They shared a few more words before Lexa turned to leave.

They returned on their original path of heading towards where the horses would be residing. Clarke walked close enough to Lexa that their arms would occasionally bump against each other. It was what little comfort she was able to offer while the sun was still shining. She thought to ask about Zoran, but guessed that he was most likely busy with a new patient. It was when the three reached the horses that Clarke remembered they only arrived on two. Now the anticipation of being in such close proximity to the brunette was much more exciting, it was no longer something that Clarke dreaded.

Carefully observing how Anya mounted her horse, Clarke tried to mimic it with her own steed. To her astonishment, she actually succeeded in not humiliating herself. She earned a satisfied grunt from Anya who was watching, and Lexa said, “It might not be too exhausting to teach you to ride after all.”

Clarke grinned at the compliment, and it only spread when Lexa ascended behind her. This time there was no hesitation between the two regarding physical contact; Clarke leaned back while Lexa held the reins around her waist.

“Do you want to try riding faster? It will make for better time.” Lexa inquired. She could feel small amounts of nervousness radiating off of the blonde so she reassuringly squeezed Clarke’s leg before whispering, “I’ll be able to hold onto you tighter.”

Clarke chuckled before giving the brunette a rigid nod. Lexa whistled a short tune that caused Anya to urge her horse to a greater speed. At first, the blonde froze. She remained that way until she began to feel the pressure of Lexa’s arms that enveloped hers. Clarke didn’t know when she closed her eyes, but when she opened them she saw the trees rushing by in a blur. It made her wonder how quickly the horses could really run.

Lexa was relieved when Clarke finally relaxed in her arms. Having to slow to a walk would have made the trek much longer. She wasn’t exactly thrilled to return to Polis, but things needed to be done.

“Hey Lexa.” When Clarke heard a hum she continued, “You don’t have to answer this if you don’t want to, but what was that countdown thing from earlier?”

“It is how Anya taught me to not become a victim of my fears. You are allowed to be scared for three seconds, by the fourth you need to face whatever it is that is scaring you.” Lexa thought back to the first time her former mentor had used this on her.

_Lexa was still crying, not as forcefully as before, but her eyes were puffy and she still had tears on her cheeks. The adrenaline had worn off, now all she could think about was how her sister was gone. It was truly starting to sink in._

“ _Come young one, we should return,” Anya said. She was still holding her former lover in her arms. They had not yet returned to their village. She noticed Lexa begin the slow then stop walking altogether. When she looked at her, she saw small green eyes searching around frantically._

“ _Did you hear that?!” Lexa asked with a wavering shout. “What if there’s more out there?!” Her breathing starting to become erratic, she gripped her sister’s sword that was around her waist._

_Anya wanted to comfort the young girl, her new second, but there was little she could do with Bluma still in her arms. An idea came to her. “Lexa, second, listen to me, please.” She tried to sound as soothing as possible. After repeating it she was able to gain Lexa’s attention. “I want you to do something for me OK?” When Lexa nodded she continued, “Count to three, during those moments, be scared, do whatever you need, but when it’s over you need to push forward. Can you try that for me?”_

_Lexa nodded. In her head she counted to three. She thought of Bluma, of the events that had transpired that day. She let visions of reapers coming after her swarm her vision. “Three,” she whispered. As she did, Lexa stood and ventured forth next to her mentor._

Clarke blinked briefly after hearing the story. Her eyes were watering, every time she heard of Bluma there was always some level of tragedy as well. “So that was your first lesson as a second then?”

Lexa thought about it for a second. “Yes. Also, do not fear asking me questions, I will answer whatever you have to ask.”

Clarke leaned her back further into Lexa’s front. She chuckled as something accrued to her. “Anya is good with kids then?”

Lexa snorted. “That’s one way of putting it. In all honestly.. She is, but it is not shown very often.”

Clarke nodded her head before leaving it to rest on Lexa’s shoulder. Even though the horse was not at an easygoing pace, Clarke managed to close her eyes and drift off to the beat of hooves.


	7. Chapter 7

Lexa gently tried to rouse Clarke from her nap. She honestly could’t believe that the blonde was able to sleep for such a long period of time while on a horse.

“Clarke,” she whispered, but received no response other than being burrowed further into. She leaned forward and pressed a kiss directly behind Clarke’s ear, followed by one on her jaw, and then a final one just above her pulse point.

Clarke returned to consciousness with a goofy grin on her face. She opened her eyes to see green ones staring at her patiently. “Hi,” Clarke said in a sleepy voice.

“Hi, Clarke.. If you sleep so often then you will not be able to at night,” Lexa responded.

“Don’t underestimate my ability to sleep- perks of being a teenager.” She was about to lean back until she realized something. When she received a quizzical look from the brunette, Clarke asked, “How old are you?”

“I am twenty winters old.”

Clarke hummed lightly. She had been wondering how old Lexa was since they met, but never really found an appropriate time to ask. If she had to guess, it wouldn’t have been far from the grounder commander’s actual age.

“Are the two of you dismounting or remaining up there all day?” Clarke looked at Anya who was staring back at her unamused. She straightened up and spared a glance around her surroundings. They had stopped by a running creek that wound through the forest.

Lexa got off the horse first and offered a hand to Clarke.

“Thanks.” Clarke’s legs felt almost as if they were buzzing. It was the feeling she got after a body part fell asleep for too long.

“It appears that the sky girl does not have very good riding legs,” Anya quipped.

They did not stay in that spot for long, just enough for a routine water break and to relieve themselves. The next ride lasted much longer, and Clarke remained awake the entire time. She enjoyed watching everything pass by, it was relaxing.

They slowed their pace only once more. Several birds had set flight at once. They didn’t have tropical or extravagant colors- rather the simple red, blue, and yellow, but it was still a sight to see. The way they flew together as a flock looked almost like a dance, they swirled and dove before soaring far away from the trio.

The remainder of the ride lasted well into the night, Clarke’s was glad that she snuck in a nap earlier. At this point, she just wanted to get off of the horse. She looked upwards at the midnight colored sky and checked out the stars. There were some constellations that she recognized from her studies on the Ark. When stargazing became dull, the blonde returned to watching everything pass by.

Lexa pulled on the reins to halt her horse. They had covered a decent amount of distance, and the horses needed to rest if they were to do the same thing the next day.

“Tomorrow’s ride will be longer. We will scavenge for roots and berries before we leave,” Lexa told Clarke. She took a moment to complete a few stretches to release the tension in her legs.

Clarke’s eyes lowered their gaze when Lexa bent over to touch her toes. It started at the slight curvature of the brunette’s back, following it down to her pant clad bottom.

Lexa could feel Clarke’s stare on her backside. She did a couple of exaggerated poses before leisurely returning to a proper standing position. Lexa turned around to a flustered Clarke and threw her an innocent smile while setting up a resting area for the night.

It took a snort from Anya to spur Clarke from her stupor. She shook her head and urged her legs forward, determined to distract herself. After looking around, Clarke decided to help with gathering fire wood. She found some twigs, a pinecone for kindling, and a coupe of thicker sticks.

After the ember grew large enough to keep the three adequately warm, Clarke wiped her hands together and sunk against a tree. She began to hear her two traveling companions bickering over something.

“You need to rest, Heda,” she overheard Anya say.

“As do you.. You took the hunt last night, I will watch over us for this one,” Lexa countered.

“Fine..” Anya groused.

Clarke waited for Anya to settle down before heading the few feet towards Lexa. “Mind if I keep you company?”

Lexa looked at her with a small smile. “It would be my pleasure.”

“The pleasure is all mine,” Clarke responded while leaning her head against the brunette's shoulder.

The following day went the same, with the exception of a light hunt to tide them over for the day. After talking about it, Lexa and Anya decided to travel through the night as well instead of waiting another full day. The horses had periodic breaks every now and then. The pace was not as fast as the day before, just enough to make it to Polis by morning.

It had been dark for quite some time but Clarke couldn’t sleep. She had too much energy from sleeping most of the day and the excitement of going to Polis kept her thoughts moving too fast to settle down. Part of her was worried for what was to come, and another just wanted the thrill of exploration.

When the sky began to wake, Clarke watched the sunrise. She felt Lexa poke her side lightly.

“Do you see that in the distance?” She asked while guiding Clarke’s head to where she wanted her to look.

Clarke squinted, noticing a barely noticeable structure rising above the trees. Leaning forward to see better was pointless because they were so far away from it.

“That is my tower. It is in the center of the city,” Lexa said proudly.

Clarke kept her eye on it until they eventually got closer, then her eyes fell upon a large wall. When they were just outside of it, Anya dismounted her horse and gestured for Clarke to get on. When the blonde hesitated, the general said, “The highest ranking people enter on horse.”

“You’re a general though.” She looked behind her to Lexa who only nodded.

“And you are Wanheda,” she replied.

Once they were all situated, Anya beat on the door of the wall. Two warriors pushed the sides apart and the trio entered. A much larger group soon crowded them compared to what they had met at the small village.

The structures were different. From what Clarke could tell, most of them were made out of metal and cloth.

 As they neared the tower, guards began forming an opening in the crowd. They all moved easily while still admiring the people before them.

Clarke glanced behind her to make sure that Anya was still with them and sure enough the woman was. When the blonde finally dismounted the general took a few steps forward, staying withing a good distance for protection.

Lexa led the party into the tower. The inside was littered with plaques of weapons and portraits of the old world. The further in they entered, the more bare the walls began to look.

Clarke watched Lexa speak briefly with a guard standing post outside of two doors. The man disappeared, and soon after the doors cracked open.

“How do you make the elevators work if none of you have electricity?” Clarke implored curiously while stepping into the small room.

“There are warriors in a room underneath the tower that control everything manually,” Lexa replied. If she was being honest, there were much better uses to put her men and women towards, but while in a time of peace there was not much for them all to do.

Clarke didn’t have much time to think before she felt a light drop of her stomach and could sense they were going upwards. She eyed a few of the candles lining the walls and the all flickered downwards for a second, returning to their original position a moment later. After the initial feeling settled, Clarke rested against the railing that wound around the perimeter of the elevator- minus the doors.

When the door opened a bald man that Clarke had never seen before greeted them on the other side with a surprised expression.

“Heda, you’re back.” His voice was laced with a subtle hint of annoyance.

“We had to take a detour, it is nothing for you to be concerned with.” Lexa challenged. Her posture was defensive and Clare wanted to reach out to her but felt the time was wrong.

“It is my duty to be concerned with you, Heda,” he matched, eyebrows narrowed. He looked past the brunette and locked eyes with Clarke.

“Wanheda,” it came out evenly but Clarke could sense the distaste falling of of his tongue. “Pleasure.”

Clarke nodded in response, not knowing the man’s name and quite frankly not wanted to deal with him longer than necessary.

“We need to speak later, Heda.” He barely waited for a response before turning to the left and disappearing down one of the halls.

“Well he seems like an asshat,” Clarke blurted out, not thinking of exactly what she had said. Her and covered her mouth before mumbling a sorry and saying, “Sorry, I usually have a better filter.”

Anya snorted and held back her laughter. “You are not far off, sky girl. He, Titus, is the fleimkepa and one of Lexa’s most influential advisors,” the woman explained.

“What’s fleimkepa?” Clarke asked, she had never heard the word before.

This time Lexa answered. “He is the one in charge of protecting the flame, it is what makes me heda.” She paused while rolling her eyes. “Titus over steps far too often because of that, he believes that he is entitled.”

“Why not just pick a new one then?” Clarke couldn’t see why Lexa would want someone around if she was displeased.

“His position is one of the few things out of my control. Future fleimkepas can only be trained by the current one. I can only assume that Titus has already done so, it would be unwise of him not to.”

There was something about the man that caused Clarke to feel uneasy. She could tell that he was not fond of her, but she had never even met the man and had no clue as to what caused the distaste. Perhaps it was the history between Arkadia and the clans. The blonde decided to ignore it for now, opting to leave Titus be.

Lexa led them into a room. There was a couch facing the door, behind it a table with a couple of chair, and random decorations were scattered around the room. Windows bordered a large portion of one wall so there was a plentiful amount of natural light, which Clarke loved, and she could see candles that would be able to be lit once it became dark out. The most mesmerizing part of the entire room was the bed, Clarke had never seen one in person that was so big. Furs were laid over it and a few pillows rested against the wall.

“This room will be your quarters,” Lexa looked at Clarke while saying it, making sure she was comfortable. “I sleep in the room down the hall from this one.” The last part kind of slipped out, but it could be useful information at some point. The thought made the brunette blush.

“It’s amazing.” Clarke said to no one in particular. She sat on the bed and let out a sigh. “This. is. Amazing.” She ran her fingers throughout the fur, they were much more luxurious than what she had grown used to.

Lexa smiled as Clarke relaxed into the mattress. “I promised you new clothes, Anya will show you around. If you do not see anything that matches your taste them I can have something custom made to your liking.” When Clarke reached out a hand, Lexa hesitated momentarily before taking it. Is she had the opportunity to make the moment last longer then Lexa would’ve taken it.

“How long will you be gone?”

“The meetings will most likely last into the night,” Lexa responded tiredly.

“Find me after, yeah?”

“Maybe.” Lexa honestly wasn’t sure. On a few occasions, her meetings lasted through the night and until the morning.

Clarke nodded and brought Lexa’s hand to her lips, kissing it softly.

“I will see you later, Clarke.”

“Bye, Lexa.” Clarke kissed the brunette’s hand once more before letting it go, allowing Lexa to leave.

After the light closing of the door Clarke dropped her back to the mattress. Her legs were more sore than anything, she could feel the parts that had constant contact with the saddle chafing. Clarke could see Anya standing by the door out of the corner of her eye. She leaned up enough to prop herself up on her elbow and lean her head against her hand.

“You know, you don’t have to just stand there. You can sit down if you want to.” It had been a decent amount of time since Clarke had seen Anya with the indifferent expression.

“I am supposed to remain alert while guarding anyone.” Anya stared forward, looking out of the window.

“I’m not just anyone, I can defend myself.” When she heard the woman snort, Clarke sat up and matched Anya’s look. “I have never seen such a secure place in my life. Just relax, I know you must be tired.”

“It does not work that way her, sky girl. Anything can happen at anytime.” Anya met eyes with Clarke and at seeing the unamused look she sighed and said, “I will make a deal with you.”

“I’m listening,” the blonde said while crossing her arms in front of her.

“If we are behind closed doors- within the tower, then I will be more relaxed. Outside though, you need to listen to me.” Anya left no room for discussion and Clarke knew it.

“Deal,” Clarke answered. She got up and walked over to Anya, giving her a handshake in the way of the grounders. It was a better proposition than she thought she’d be able to get.

They rested for only a few minutes, both eager to get some grub in their bellies. As they exited the tower’s door, Anya stood by Clarke and guided her in the direction of the food market. Clarke tried various foods, mostly meats that Anya recommended and she herself ate.

What surprised Clarke the most was how no one would let her pay for anything. The first time it happened, Clarke tried to argue but Anya stopped her and informed her that by their customs it was rude to say no to an offering.

Clarke was munching on an apple when they began browsing clothes in a small building. Different things were folded and placed on tables.

“You should look at things that will keep you warm. We can come back for lighter items when spring starts to bloom,” Anya recommended.

Clarke would hold some things up next to her for opinion and Anya would either nod or shake her head. The blonde walked to the shop owner and was again denied when she tried to pay. She thanked the kind woman and went on her way.

“I can hold my own bag, you know.” It was made to be swung over one shoulder. Clarke thought about saving it, for all she knew it could come in handy.

Anya sighed. “It is how we work. If a warrior is with someone of higher standing than them, then they carry all of their personal items.” She didn’t sound annoyed at all, Clarke couldn’t put her finger on a specific mood though. If anything the woman just sounded tired.

“Well in my eyes, we’re equals- if anything you should be seen as higher ranked than me,” Clarke said slowly and deliberately, making sure Anya heard and understood what she was saying.

Anya faltered with her steps. What Clarke had said meant more than she would admit. Hearing it from Wanheda itself was an honor, but that wasn’t what made it special. It made an impact because everything was always a competition; someone always had to be better, so Anya had never heard it before. Her throat constricted a little bit so she just looked forward.

Clarke could tell that her words had had some impact on Anya, and she had meant every word- truly.

Most of the walk back to the tower was done in a peaceful silence, with the exception of all the people. With Anya as an obvious guard, less people approached the blonde, but with those brave enough to do so Clarke would give them a light smile and be on her way- no one touched her. A few went to, not in an aggressive manor, but Anya stopped them none the less.

All of the sudden, a horse runs by them, its rider wearing a hauntingly familiar blue and white uniform.

Clarke looks behind her and can see the crowd parting, many people leaving the area all together- very few remained.

Five white horses could be seen in the distance. Two were in the front, one one that Clarke assumed Nia was on in the middle, and the final two behind her.

Anya immediately nudged Clarke towards the inside of the dirt path they were walking while she herself stayed on the outside, slightly shielding the blonde from view. Clarke tried to take a step closer, but Anya glared and instead stepped backwards.

As the Azgeda entourage neared them, Clarke could see Anya clench and unclench her fist- only relaxing when the new people were in front of them. Clarke could tell that her demeanor was all an act. Even when the five stopped in front of them her voice was cool and collected.

“Nia,” the woman said calmly.

“That is queen to you, general,” Nia snarled. She had on clothes similar to Lexa, but in Azgeda’s colors. When she caught sight of Clarke an unsettling smirk spread across her face. She dismounted gracefully and sauntered the few steps towards the two.

Anya blocked the other woman when she came too close, but Clarke could still be seen clearly. “ _That is close enough._ ”

“Come now, speak in the girl’s native language. It appears that you have been demoted to the position of body guard. Besides, I was only trying to introduce myself to Wanheda, who will soon be mine.” The queen was no longer wearing a smirk, but instead an expression of cocky overconfidence.

It was at this point that Clarke decided to say, “I am not a piece of property.” It came out more edgy that Clarke wanted it too, but she didn’t care. She didn’t really expect what came next.

Nia laughed, she laughed like it was the most funny thing to ever reach her pale ears. “We will see about that, Wanheda. I will see you again soon.” She walked away, eyes not once leaving Clarke’s until she finally urged her horse back in the direction of the tower.

When she was out of ear shot, Clarke quietly grumbled, “Well she’s an icy bitch..” There was something that was just unsettling about the woman.

Anya snorted and replied with, “I am more than aware, believe me.”

The quiet that followed was less comfortable than the one they had had before Clarke met Nia. It lasted until the two returned to Clarke’s quarters. Anya dropped the bag the bed and began pacing the room. Clarke decided to put her clothes away, finding a decently sized closet inside of her bathroom.

After sorting everything to her liking Clarke was about to change when she saw something folded in the back of the closet. It had a piece of paper with a familiar scrawl saying that she looked better in it. Lexa’s name was written at the bottom. It made Clarke smile and she tucked the note away in the jacket’s pocket. She added a pair of soft wool lined pants and a black long sleeved shirt to the mix before leaving.

Anya was still pacing so Clarke asked, not knowing if it would help or not, “What is ice bitch’s problem?” She had decided the first time she said it that ice bitch was going to be her nickname for Nia.

Anya paused and stared at the blonde before shaking her head. “Do not let her or any of her guards hear you say that.”

“Are you saying you disagree?”

The response was quick and short. “No.” Anya grabbed her wrists and put them on top of her head. “To answer your question, there has always this.. bad blood I guess you could say between Azgeda and Trikru. With Lexa being of Trikru decent, it made Nia that much more bitter.” Anya shook her head annoyed. “On top of that, the woman is jealous of everyone that has something she does not. She wanted Lexa’s throne, Costia.” Anya closed her mouth the moment she said Costia’s name.

Clarke gave he a reassuring look. “I have already heard some things about her.”

Anya debated for a moment before continuing. “Do not tell Lexa that I told you this much or she will have my head.” The general was only partially joking. “When Nia sent Lexa Costia’s head, a note was attached saying, if I can not have her then neither can you.” Anya spat out every syllable of every word. “It was her petty attempt to get back at Lexa. Nia made a point to join the coalition before sending the head so she would be protected in a way. Everything that Lexa worked towards would have fallen apart.”

The story had made Clarke furious. One of her biggest pet peeves were when people felt that they were entitled to do whatever they wanted when they wanted. The thought of a young heartbroken Lexa made the blonde even more angry. Clarke was starting to see red again.

Anya could see the situation beginning to spin out of control so she she said, “Let us spar.”

“Not now,” Clarke replied through clenched teeth.

“Yes now, you need to learn how to control this.” As soon as Anya had said it a furry of sloppy punches were thrown at her. She blocked all of them and was careful to manipulate the fight around the furniture in the room. “Control your anger, let it guide you instead of control your movements.”

They continued like that until Clarke had worn herself out. She had landed a few hits, none of them bad enough to need a healer, but there was a chance of bruising. Anya let her take a breather for a few minutes then looked over at Clarke.

“Better?”

Clarke looked up, but did not meet the general’s eye. “In a way.” She was no longer angry, but irritated that these random fits of red madness kept on consuming her. The way she felt when they were happening was awful.

“It is never easy being a living legend. You are strong, sky girl. I know it, Lexa knows it, now you need to too.” Anya looked at Clarke and grinned before continuing. “Speaking of Lexa, I see you have managed to regain her jacket.”

Clarke blushed and buried her face in the jacket’s collar to hide her blush. It still smelt like Lexa and that was enough to calm her down for the time being.

Even though Anya argued relentlessly, Clarke had convinced her to take a nap- arguing that she would be of no use is she passed out from exhaustion. Anya slept for what Clarke supposed to be around two hours.

Not long after, Anya called out to the guard that was patrolling the halls at the time, asking him to bring them mood. It was more of an order than a question, and they both knew it, so he did not deny her. Her and Clarke had spent enough time outside for the day, and also did not want to risk running into, as Clarke likes to call her, the ice bitch.

As hard as Clarke tried, she could not manage to go more than ten minutes without nodding off at a time. She had talked to Anya, trying to stay awake, but it didn’t work.

Their was a light knock at the door. Since Clarke had at last fallen asleep Anya went to answer it. Lexa was standing on the other side with a tired expression and two guards that Anya recognized.

“ _You may rest now,_ ” Lexa said. She had spent the last twenty minutes looking through her night guard, trying to pick out the most trustworthy and loyal ones.

“ _Yes, commander.”_

When Anya left, Lexa went into Clarke’s room and closed the door. She had already warned the two guards that if they were to speak a word that had anything related to Wanheda then they would be stripped of their titles and exiled, which for many is a worse punishment than death.

She picked up the sleeping blonde who woke up from the movement and quickly jumped out of Lexa’s arms and wrapped her arms around her. The brunette stumbled slightly at the abruptness of the gesture but quickly caught her footing.

“I see you found the jacket.” Clarke nodded. “I had a short break between meetings and brought it up here when you and Anya were still gone.” Clarke nodded again. Lexa tried to pull away, causing Clarke to only hold her tighter. “What’s wrong?”

Clarke sighed and put her head on Lexa’s shoulder. “Long story short I met Nia today.”

Lexa stiffened. She had been alerted of her presence when her final meeting concluded. She wanted to ask what happened, but decided to instead ask Anya in the morning, having a feeling that Clarke wouldn’t want to talk about it much. Knowing how trying the woman could be trying from personal experience, Lexa asked, “Is there anything I can do to help?”

“Just stay here, with me, please.”

Lexa had to think about it for a second. She had picked guards that would not betray her, and they knew better than to ask questions.

“Anything for you, Clarke.”

They separated only to go to the bed. Lexa went through the ritual of removing her weapons, shoes, and jacket. Clarke did the same with her jacket, taking a moment to hang it in the closet. When she returned Lexa was in the bed holding the blanket open for her. The blonde crawled in and let Lexa hold her.

The brunette made sure to wait until Clarke’s breathing evened out before kissing her softly, and falling asleep at last, her arm still wrapped around Clarke’s waist.


	8. Chapter 8

Clarke woke up and immediately reached out next to her. When she was met with and empty mattress she popped open one eye and was indeed met with an empty mattress. She groaned as she stuffed her face into the plush pillow next to her. It still smelt like Lexa.

Just as she was about to fall back asleep, Clarke heard a knock on her door followed by a familiar face protrude past the crack.

“For someone who came from the sky, you do not know how to rise with it,” Anya commented once she saw the blonde half awake in bed, tangled with the furs.

Clarke was startled fully awake when she felt something hit her forehead. She sat up and found the culprit, a chunk of bread, laying on her lap.

“That is all I was able to save from this morning’s meal.”

The bread wasn’t bad, it was soft and easy to chew. When Clarke finished the quick snack she headed to her bathroom to change and get ready for whatever the day had in store.

“The summit is tonight.”

“So soon?” Clarke replied. Everything seemed to be happening so fast, more so than usual.

“Yes, and because of who you are, you have little choice but to attend.” Anya hoped that things would go smoothly, especially with what Lexa had planned. “Everyone arrived early and Nia pushed for it to happen.”

Just the sound of the queen’s name caused Clarke to scowl. When she returned to her room, the blonde still had a displeased expression on her face.

Anya chuckled quietly. It was no secret that she too disliked the Azgeda leader- few people, if any, ever actually appreciated the pale skinned woman being around them.

“Come, sky girl, we have a busy day ahead of us,” Anya said before turning towards the door.

They walked through the districts on a path that Clarke recognized.

“More shopping?” Clarke asked curiously. She had gotten more new clothes yesterday than she ever had, everything on the Ark was some kind of hand-me-down.

“Summits require a certain type of.. dress code.”

Clarke hummed in response. “So I’m going to be dressed up like a Barbie Doll then?” She shook her head and chuckled, “Never mind,” when she received a perplexed look.

The two didn’t go inside any of the shops that they had the previous day. The one they entered was new, to Clark at least. There was more structure in it than than many of the places outside. Few people walked around inside, those that did either completely ignored Clarke or observed her with blank expressions.

Even though the blonde was becoming uncomfortable with the staring, she was determined to stay perfectly composed. Anya blocked most of the wondering eyes as she guided Clarke to the end of the upscale shop.

“You may choose anything to your liking, Wanheda.” Clarke was amazed at how quickly the people she was coming to know were able to change. One second Anya was well.. Anya, and the next she would become a stone faced general.

Clarke browsed the selection for a few minutes. There really wasn’t all that much to decide from, but she tended to be indecisive when she did not fully know what to expect. Finally, after spotting a dress that caught the blonde’s interest, she decided to take it from the rack.

Anya pointed in the direction of what was supposed to be a changing room. In reality it was just a thick piece of cloth covering a decent portion of a corner in the store.

The first thing Clarke noticed behind the curtain was a mirror carefully leaned against one of the corner’s walls. It was littered with cracks but Clarke didn’t bother to mind them. She quickly disrobed and paused before turning to look at her reflection. She was almost shocked at what she saw. Power. Clarke looked powerful; she looked confident.

The two left the store in the same manor they had every single one yesterday, with Clarke attempting to pay. She was starting to learn that that was just how it was going to be, and no arguing would change that.

Next, the general led Clarke back to her room in the tower.

“No more preparations for the day?” It was asked in an almost mocking tone, but Clarke was also at the same time kind of curious.

Anya just chuckled. “In your dreams, sky girl.”

As if on que someone knocked on the door. Anya left the room momentarily, and when she returned she also had a small satchel in hand.

Clarke watched as the woman took out a few things and spread them out- several of the items she recognized. “You’re going to do my hair?”

“Tonight, things will go more smoothly if you look like one of us.” Anya answered as she organized the things on Clarke’s bed. She looked up to see the blonde looking at her strangely. “You will find out soon enough.”

At first, Clarke thought that the whole idea of having her hair done reminded her of those sleepover movies she would watch when bored before being sent into solitary. The reality was much more quiet, not that that bothered her.

When the tugging and pulling of her hair ceased, Clarke took the mirror that laid atop her bed and looked at her reflection. It was in a half up half down type of style. There was one main braid going down the top of her head, and two smaller ones on each side. She ran a hand along each of them and felt the braids stop and form some type of knot at the back of her head. The rest of her hair flowed freely down her back.

“You’re good at this, you know,” Clarke complimented. She quite honestly was pleasantly surprised.

“I used to help Bluma with her hair,” Anya explained.

Clarke nodded and left it at that, not sure what to say.

In a different room of the tower, Lexa had just been approached by one of her scouts.

“ _There is still no sign of Azgeda troops outside the walls. There is someone else though,”_ the scout began.

“ _Who,”_ the commander demanded. She needed everything to go smoothly before the summit in order for everything to go as planned.

“ _Skaikru._ ”

**XXX**

“Bellamy, this isn’t a good idea. She left us, who’s to say she needs saving?” Octavia complained- not for the first time. A woman had approached her, her brother, Raven, and Lincoln while they were out putting up some cell tower thing that Raven had made to increase the range on the walkie talkies.

“I trust Echo,” Bellamy said shortly.

“You don’t know her, Bell.” Octavia was no longer patient and started yelling. “You don’t know where she is from!”

Bellamy stopped and swerved around and pointed a finger at Octavia, matching her tone while asking, “And you do. Who’s to say you know her better than I do.”

Lincoln stepped behind Octavia and put his hands on her shoulders while Raven stood as a barrier between the arguing siblings.

“She is Azgeda, they can not be trusted,” Octavia was slightly calmer with Lincoln’s presence near her. The only reason she could tell where Echo was from was because Lincoln had told the brunette stories of the warriors that wore scars on their faces. The strange thing was that the woman had no scars, but her clothes were those of someone from the Ice Nation.

“Who said that, huh? Was it that general you used to parade around? Well news flash, she ditched you!”

Lincoln wrapped his arms around Octavia’s waist to keep her from lunging forwards. “Fuck off, Bellamy!”

Raven, who had been mostly quiet, decided to speak up. “Dude, you need to chill. None of us know Echo and we’re all going out on a whim here because you think Clarke needs some knight in shining armour.”

“It’s been months. You heard what Echo said, that bitch of a commander took her,” Bellamy was still fuming. Those hadn’t been her exact words, but it could be implied.

Lincoln glared at the shaggy haired boy. He may have been banished from Trikru lands, but he still respected Lexa. “If you are going to get anywhere inside of the walls then you will need to watch your tongue.” It was a veiled threat that was also masked as a warning.

Bellamy narrowed his eyes but after meeting Octavia’s glare he took a deep breath and continued on his original path. He didn’t like arguing with his sister, but he also didn’t want Clarke to be caught up in the commander’s grasp any longer. It was time for her to come home.

**XXX**

The Skaikru had become more bold in the past few months, pushing the boundaries of land that Trikru had allowed them to use. Lexa had been spoken to about it by her generals and advisors, she told all of them that they needed to be patient. With the way that the sky people were acting, it would be hard for anyone to accept her plan of initiating a thirteenth clan.

“ _How far are they?_ ”

“ _They were last spotted near the tunnels that go under the city._ ” The scout would have apprehended him if he had not already received direct orders not to. The tunnels were a maze and almost no one made it through them anyway.

Lexa thought carefully about what to do next. “ _Trail them. They can not be sighted by anyone else or they will be viewed as trespassers._ ”

The scout nodded and ran off in the same direction he came from. Lexa sat back on her throne and slouched forward while sighing. She would have to begin getting herself ready for the summit soon, but Lexa had to do something first.

Lexa headed up the tower, entering her room briefly to gather a few things. When she was done, the brunette headed down the hall silently. She opened the door and first saw Anya. Her general had made a move to get up but Lexa shook her head and gestured for her to be quiet. Clarke hadn’t noticed anything because one her back was to the door, and two she had found something to draw on.

Clarke felt hands go over her eyes and flinched before recognized the hands. She decided to play along with the little game. “Uhhh Anya?”

The woman in question let out a short audible ha before saying, “Try again.”

Clarke stood and turned around to wrap her arms around Lexa’s waist. “I missed you.”

Lexa kissed her head and replied with, “I missed you too.” When the blonde looked up Lexa smiled and leaned down the short distance to press a soft kiss to her lips.

Before it could turn into a make out session, there was the sound of someone clearing their throat, and rather dramatically. “Get a room, you two.”

“We’re already in one,” Lexa joked. Anya chucked and got up to leave. She was stopped by Lexa grabbing her arm and leaning near her ear.

“ _Skaikru has made it into the tunnels. A scout has orders to keep them out of the public’s eye. I ask that you do the same if you come across any of them._ ”

Clarke couldn’t hear what Lexa said, but it was enough for her to briefly catch Anya furrowing her brow. When Lexa returned to her she was going to ask when Lexa shook her head.

“I will tell you, but something needs to be done first.” Lexa picked up the container she had sat down next to the door before surprising Clarke. She showed the black substance to the blonde and explained, “Every warrior designs their second’s warpaint.”

“What’s yours supposed to be?” Clarke always thought that it made Lexa look like a raccoon in a way.

“My tears, when Anya painted it she told me that the paint would cry for me.”

Clarke understood the meaning; it was like a memorial of sorts to Bluma. She just didn’t know if she would be able to have something as meaningful painted of her.

The thin feather like brush was soft against her skin, and the cool paint mingled well with the warmth from her cheeks. Clarke was more focused on Lexa’s concentrated look than each of the various strokes on her face. Lexa’s brow bent in concentration. Clarke thought it was cute how focused Lexa was, then again it was a symbolic process for her people.

Lexa took a step back to fully look at Clarke. She looked at the pattern, feeling quite proud of her work and the beginning of the story it told. Giggling broke Lexa’s concentration so she looked at the blonde, unsure of what was so funny.

Clarke stood and wiped a bit of black off the side of Lexa’s temple, who in turn blushed in a faint red tone and rubbed at the spot. The commander couldn’t believe that she had done something so childish.

When Clarke took her hands to stop her frantic movements, Lexa glanced into her bluer than normal eyes. “You’re OK, it’s nice seeing you not so perfect.”

They leaned together in a way that wouldn’t smudge the still wet paint. In between kisses Lexa husked, “Your hairs.. looks.. good.. by the way.” She pulled back to fully examine the blonde’s hair. She chuckled at memories from her past, recalling the many times Anya would tug and pull her hair every which way. It was enough to give her a headache a few times.

“What’s so funny?”

“Nothing,” Lexa picked up a mirror and continued with a simple, “Here.” While she was proud, she was also anxious of whether Clarke would be fond of what she had done or not.

Clarke took the mirror that she had previously used to inspect her hair. There was a brief moment of contact between her and Lexa’s fingers when the transition took place, enough to make Clarke smile.

The brunette shifted from foot to foot. When Lexa hadn’t heard anything in what seemed like forever she was going to say that she could get a rag to wipe it off, but Clarke looked up at that moment and shook her head.

“I love it.” Clarke looked at the mirror again. There were star shaped figures under each of her eyes with lines above them, creating the illusion of them falling. She almost wanted to touch it but feared ruining the work. There was meaning behind it, not the same as Lexa’s, but enough to remind her of where she came from. Although her time in space had its setbacks, there were still good memories.

Lexa was smiling, thrilled that all had gone well. She sighed semi-dramatically before saying, “To my dismay I still have to get ready, so I can not stay with you much longer.” She gave Clarke a goodbye kiss before backing up until she got to the door, only then did she turn around and her eyes left Clarke’s.

As she was putting on her dress she shook her head at how much like a teenager in love she was acting. “I am a teenager in...” Her jaw hit the floor when she realized what she was about to say. Sure, she’d felt like she had been getting closer to Lexa, but they hadn’t even been reunited that long. Clarke had dropped her dress during her realization and picked it up to continue getting ready.

A list formed in the blonde’s head: Lexa could make her smile, could make her believe in herself, made her feel like she wasn’t alone, and surprisingly was a hopeless romantic at times. Lexa protected her, let Clarke see the real person behind the facade, taught her new things, and the kissing was a whole other story.. Clarke loved the way that they seemed to fit as if they were made for each other.

It dawned on her for the second time, causing her to whisper, “I love Lexa..” What scared Clarke the most was that she was unsure of wether or not Lexa loved her back. Scared was an understatement.

The door opened, startling Clarke from her thoughts and providing a welcomed distraction.

“Care to knock next time?” Clarke asked while quickly adjusting her dress into place. Her inner musings hadn’t helped the blonde with her preparations. She couldn’t help but think, ‘At least I’m clothed..’

Anya looked at her, fully donned in warpaint, and couldn’t help but notice how much Clarke truly looked like she was apart of them. The general had a feeling that Lexa would paint something worthwhile, and she was right.

“Would you like me to go back out and start over,” Anya asked sarcastically.

Clarke was about to respond when she realized something. “Do you by chance know what Lexa was going to tell me earlier? It seemed important.”

Anya paused, unsure of what exactly Clarke already knew. ‘The one time the woman forgets something..’

“It would be best for you to talk to Heda about this,” Anya decided to reply.

The first thing that Clarke took note of was the way that Anya said Heda instead of Lexa, the second thing was that she seemed to be hiding something. She turned around and marched out of the room, disregarding the shoes that didn’t make it onto her feet yet, and walking in the direction of Lexa’s quarters.

She not so subtly burst through the doors, meeting a wide eyed Lexa who looked furious until she saw who it was, then she just looked puzzled.

“Clarke, wh-”

“What are you hiding from me?”

“Excuse me?” Lexa was honestly very lost. That’s when she saw Anya from the doorway, mouthing sorry and closing the door.

Clarke was becoming more and more annoyed by the second. “Before this,” she gestured to her face, referring to the now dry warpaint, “you told me that you had something to say. What are you hiding from me?”

Lexa sighed when she registered what Clarke was talking about. She quietly scolded herself for forgetting such an important issue. She couldn’t let herself become so distracted.

“Sit down.”

“What.”

“Clarke, I need you to calm down.” She grabbed the blonde’s hands and pulled her to a nearby chair to perch herself on. “I did not hide anything from you- the topic slipped my mind.” In a more hurt voice she added, “I thought you trusted me?”

When Lexa started to pull her hands away Clarke held on. “I do, Lexa, I just..” She leaned her head against the top of the chair to take a deep breath. “I will admit I over reacted just now, but I’m terrified of being left or lied to again. I don’t say that to hurt you, but because it’s true.”

Lexa nodded, she wasn’t going to lie and say that that didn’t hurt, but she’d also never yell at Clarke for expressing her feelings. Next she did what felt right.

Clarke almost gaped when she saw Lexa drop to her knees, her heart picked up its beat, and all she could think about were her thoughts not long before.

“I swear fealty to you, Clarke kom Skaikru. I vow to treat your needs as my own and your people as my people.” There was no waver to Lexa’s voice.

Clarke was unsure of what to say. Her mouth had gone dry when it looked like Lexa was about to propose to her. The look of utter devotion held in those green eyes didn’t aid in helping her find her voice.

“Clarke?”

“What does that mean?”

Lexa stood up before responding. “The summit isn’t just that, it is also the introduction of the thirteenth clan.”

Suddenly it dawned on Clarke, ‘my people as her people.’ “Skaikru?”

Lexa nodded, unsure of how her voice would sound. “It will offer them protection to be a part of the alliance. Going against them would be going against me.” She was about to say something to Clarke’s vacant expression when blue eyes refocused on her.

“What about your advisors?”

“With you as their leader, many of the clans respect your people. They will do as I say,” Lexa added defensively. It was true, almost no one was audacious enough to go against her orders. “There is something else.

“What?”

Lexa paused for a few seconds, trying to figure out the best approach to her next revelation. “Skaikru members are inside the walls.”

Clarke visibly paled. Her palms began to sweat. She was not ready to face her scars. “W-where?”

“They are in the tunnels below the city. I have sent the scout that saw them to continue tracking their movements. No harm will come to them.”

Clarke nodded, not knowing how else to respond.

Lexa could tell how emotional and caught up in her head Clarke was becoming, so she sat on the arm of the chair and pulled Clarke to her. “Ste yuj, Clarke, stay strong.”

Clarke nodded against Lexa’s chest and took a moment to prepare herself for whatever was to come next. When she stood up she finally realized that Lexa was in different clothes than before. This time her jaw actually did drop. She was in a black dress with the same red sash she always had adorned on her shoulder now tied around her waist.

“If you would have given me the chance to speak,” Lexa began, laughing lightly at Clarke’s expression, “I would have told you that you look beautiful, Clarke. You are more than beautiful.” Most of the dress was grey and lengthy, reaching past her heels- much like Lexa’s, the difference being a copper looking vest covering her chest and stomach.

“You’re one to talk..” Clarke replied, her eyes going up and down Lexa’s figure until they landed on her face. “We should probably go soon, right?” She worried that if she was there a second later then neither of then would leave.

“I do at least, yes. You however have a bit of time if there is anything you need to do.”

“I want to go with you.” Clarke smiled. She knew they’d have to be separate during the summit, but being near Lexa was better than nothing. The more time she spent around her the more Clarke began to crave that time together.

“OK,” Lexa said while smiling back.

They headed in the direction of the door when Lexa stopped abruptly, her arm reaching out in front of Clarke’s waist. She looked at the blonde, who had a bewildered expression, and held an index finger to her lips. No one else should have been on the top floor, yet she had just heard the thudding of several feet. She silently crossed the remainder of the distance between her and put her hand on the door handle.

Clarke watched the next events unfold with a mixture of confusion and interest that soon morphed into horror. At first, Lexa seemed to be struggling with opening the door. Everything that followed seemed to go by in slow motion, yet somehow still too fast for Clarke to react.

Lexa finally got the door open to see Anya’s eyes glued to something not far away. She strode out of the room just in time to see the setting sun’s rays bounce off of something metallic. Lexa only had the chance to see the party out of the corner of her eye when she was forcefully shoved back into her room. A yell, a quiet bang, and a thudding sound followed.

Clarke recognized the voice. She recognized the sound of a gun going off. That finally got her feet working again and she darted past Lexa, who didn’t get off of the floor in time to stop her, and left the room. She may not have been ready to face her scars, but they were ready for her.

She looked to her right and saw Anya leaned against the wall, holding her upper bicep. Clarke then looked at the chaos unfolding on her left. Lincoln had tackled Bellamy to the ground, who was struggling to release himself. Octavia was retrieving the gun that had gone flying, and Raven had just finished yelling at the older Blake when she turned to see a pale faced Clarke.

“Clarke.” It was but a whisper, but enough to make everyone freeze momentarily. Raven barely recognized her, she looked liked as if she could be a completely different person.

When Lexa stood up she saw Clarke about ready to hurl and rushed outside. The first thing she saw was Octavia with a gun, she pulled a dagger from her waist band and was about to embed it into her target, but was stopped by Clarke pushing her wrist against the wall. When she caught sight of Bellamy the brunette was able to put two and two together but was still on guard.

Clarke looked at Octavia but couldn’t read the expression on the girl’s face. Bellamy’s entire demeanor soured the moment he saw Lexa beside Clarke.

“Get away from her!” He started thrashing against Lincoln again, he couldn’t get the muscular man to budge even an inch.

Lexa put on her mask and straightened up, trying to figure out the best way to handle the situation.

Before she could come up with a response, Octavia said with a poorly concealed yell, “Look at her, Bell! She might as well be one of them.” There was a hint of jealousy in her tone. She had made her choice at Mount Weather, but it wasn’t one that didn’t leave her bitter.

“Why are all of you here?” Clarke had been speechless up until that point. She wouldn’t have even moved if Lexa hadn’t been about ready to attack. “How are you here?” She had just been told that they were in the tunnels, and had seen the tower’s security, it shouldn’t have been easy to slip past.

“We’re here to take you back.” Bellamy said it like as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Clarke saw Lexa tense up next to her. She hadn’t taken her eyes off of the Skaikru, but then she remembered the gunshot sound and looked behind her. Anya was still holding her arm- blood was seeping between her fingers, but the scowl she had told Clarke that she was alive.

A rush of emotions hit the blonde. She was still confused, she was still blind sighted, but now anger was also mixed in. She put her hands on her head before throwing them out and yelling, “Who said I wanted to be taken back? Who said I needed to be saved?” She wanted to say more but restrained herself.

Another moment of silence followed when Raven exclaimed, “You dumbass! You made all of us come here because some chick you don’t even know told you to.” Bellamy tried to get a word in to no avail. “No, you didn’t even bother to think of your sister or Lincoln, who can not be here by law!”

Before any one else could add to the argument Lexa asked, “Who told you to come here,” in a strong voice.

Bellamy avoided her gaze stubbornly, Octavia still hadn’t said anything, and Raven was still fuming, so Lincoln stepped up to reply, still keeping a careful eye on the shaggy haired boy. “ _Echo kom Azgeda, Heda._ ”

Lexa looked at Lincoln and switched to their native tongue. “ _You let them come here?”_

Lincoln paused before nodding once. “ _The boy would have come on his own. I came to stop him from doing something reckless._ ”

“ _Like shooting at me?”_

Octavia chose then to say something. _“He_ _stopped_ _anyone from dying_ _.”_

Lexa looked at her briefly before nodding.

“All of you, come with me,” Lexa ordered.

Lincoln obeyed right away, Raven hesitated but followed after him, and Bellamy was about to contradict Lexa when Octavia slapped the back of his head not so gently so he shuffled along behind her.

They were lead to the only other room in the hall that wasn’t currently occupied. Anya was the last one inside and closed the door behind her. The tan skinned girl, that she had seen while scouting Clarke’s people, but not personally spoken to, approached her. Anya looked at her indifferently until she held out a hand containing a mostly spotless bandage. She took it and grunted a thanks to which Raven rolled her eyes at.

“You are to remain here until the summit has concluded. At that point I will assign each of you rooms at a lower level.” Lexa looked at Lincoln before continuing. “ _You may_ _remain here_ _as well, they are to stay hidden. Do not disobey orders this time._ ”

“ _Yes, Heda,”_ came the immediate reply. He knew he was lucky to be alive as most of the banished who ever dared to return were killed on sight.

“Who says we even want to stay here?” Bellamy asked defensively.

“Watch your mouth, boy. You’re lucky that I am not allowed to attack you or you would not be breathing,” Anya growled.

Octavia saw him look the general up and down, as if to say why should he listen, so she said, “Shut up Bell, just shut up.”

The three left in silence. Clarke made sure to grab her shoes, nearly forgetting to put them on all together. She was glad that the weapon Bellamy used at least had a silencer on it or they would have been swarmed by guards by now. She still didn’t know how they managed to make it so far, but right now she needed to focus on what had to be done.

When the trio entered the elevator, Clarke went to check Anya’s arm but was only shrugged off.

“I am fine,” Anya said. It wasn’t the first time that she’d been shot. The first that hit her in the abdomen would have been fatal had it not been for Clarke’s people recognizing the blonde. It took some work, but Abby eventually got Anya to allow her to take to bullet out and properly bandage the wound. The rest is history.

They got off on the correct floor and walked to the throne floor. Lexa entered first, followed by Clarke, and then Anya. Everyone else had arrived at some point before so all eyes were on them.

“It is nice to see that you all have decided to join us,” Nia called out.

Lexa ignored her, as did almost everyone else, and began. “I thank all of you for coming on such short notice.” Not all of the clan leaders were able to make it. The ones that resided a far distance away had permanent advisors stationed in Polis to keep them up to date and take their places duringevents like the summit.

“ _Is it true that you have been challenged, Heda?_ ” The Sankru advisor inquired.

“We will speak gonasleng out of respect for Wanheda who is not yet fluent in our language. Yes, the challenge will take place tomorrow at noon.”

There were some murmurs around the room. Everyone who had looked at Clarke questioningly when she first entered now stared at her in a whole new sense. The only person she paid any attention to was Nia, who had the hint of a smirk and amusement dancing in her eyes.

“And why would anyone challenge you,” the Floukru advisor added to the question.

“I,” Nia emphasized the word, “challenge her for the power of Wanheda.”

The Sankru advisor chimed in again. “What if Sankru wants to wield Wanheda as well? What if I also want to issue a challenge?”

Lexa had been to enough of these meetings to easily pick up on what the advisor was saying between the lines. He wanted a challenge. Lexa stood, walking towards the balcony and motioned to him. “Come, let us speak outside.” He stood and sauntered over, passing Lexa. He turned, prepared to speak, but before he could utter a single syllable he was kicked from the building. The scream that followed could be heard until it eventually faded away.

“Is anyone else wise enough to challenge me at my own summit?” Lexa questioned evenly, eyes meeting with everyone in the room. The people that did not answer with no shook their heads. Nia was the only one not to respond.

“Good. Now for the main reason of this summit.” Lexa paused to take a quick silent breath, preparing for whatever reactions she may receive. “I am introducing a thirteen clan into the coalition- Skaikru.”

Everyone, including Nia, looked at Clarke with shock.

“Is Wanheda their advisor?”

“But they’re invaders!”

“What do they have to offer us?”

“Enough!” Lexa had expected people to react this way, but had already had enough with voices yelling over each other. “Wanheda is their leader, she may opt to select an advisor is she so chooses, or she can stay here herself. It is her choice. They have technology that can aid in communication and food that has been gone from our lands for a long time. They have plenty to offer.”

Everyone nodded- almost everyone, those that didn’t looked at Lexa with unsurety. “Are there anymore questions?”

“Who will fight for you?” Clarke couldn’t find the owner of the voice but it caused several people to stand and offer their swords in her place.

Lexa motioned for those that stood to retake their seats before saying, “No one, I fight for myself. As for who I am fighting, that I am unsure of.” It was a subtle jab at Nia. The commander knew that the queen would never fight for herself if it meant there was a chance to lose.

Nia stood, meeting the silent challenge. “My son, Roan, who I have removed the banishment of.”

“It is not your place to remove his banishment. That is up to Heda.” It was the first time that Anya had spoke up during the entire event. Lexa was from Trikru, but because she had to be impartial to all of the clans at times, an advisor had to be chosen- she chose Anya.

“I will allow it. If I lose then the challenge his banishment may be rightfully lifted.”

A few other things of importance were discussed, mainly having to do with what would happen if Lexa was to fall to Roan. The summit concluded with Lexa formally inducting Skaikru. Clarke knelt before her, as Lexa had done earlier, vowing that she and her people would abide by the coalition’s laws and its’ commander.

After everyone was dismissed, a few people came up to Clarke, telling her that they would be open to setting up trade routes with her people. A few others simply left without another word, and the last bit stared at her like she was something stuck on the back of their boots.The blonde was just glad that Nia hadn’t bothered her again.

When everyone finally left to return to their accommodations for the night, Clarke, Anya, and Lexa headed towards the elevator.

When they got to the top floor, Lexa turned to Clarke, saying, “All of the rooms on the floor under this one are open. You may situate your people however you wish. I will be in my room.”

Clarke sighed when she didn’t get any kind of goodbye from Lexa, but she knew that that wouldn’t always be a possibility. Although the brunette’s final sentence did seem appear to be an open ended invite.

Anya continued to accompany Clarke until they reached the room that held the Skaikru people.

“They won’t hurt me, you can go rest.”

Anya looked like she wanted to say no, and she didn’t fully trust Bellamy, but she did trust Clarke, so she nodded and excepted the dismissal.

“Wait,” Clarke said. When Anya turned to her, Clarke continued, “Do you think she’ll make it?”

Without any hesitation, Anya said, “She is not fighting for herself, but for you. She will make it.”

Clarke saw nothing but sureness in the woman’s eyes so she nodded and waved a goodbye. Once the hallway was quiet, Clarke knocked on the door and entered the room. Everyone looked at her, fully alert. It was still until Raven partially limped over to hug Clarke.

“Don’t ever do that again or I’ll make you go boom.”

Clarke chuckled and returned the gesture. She had missed Raven’s humor, even though it wasn’t always entirely appropriate. When they pulled apart Clarke looked at Bellamy, who looked like he had a lot to say.

The two pulled apart so Clarke could tell the four, “I will explain everything that has happened in the morning. It is a busy day, Le- the commander is being challenged so I will be there for that. You are all safe here to explore, and may attend if you want to.”

Both Lincoln and Octavia’s eyes widened slightly. Octavia because she had the chance to see a real challenge, and Lincoln because Lexa was actually being challenged- few people had the guts.

“I will show you to your rooms,” Clarke said before leaving the room. Everyone followed her into the hall and then the elevator. It was a very short journey since the floor was just below. Raven got the first room they came across, and Bellamy the second, leaving Clarke with just Octavia and Lincoln. When she reached the third room that they came across, Clarke turned and asked, “I’m guessing you will both be staying together?” They nodded in unison.

Clarke opened the door to let them in but stopped them from entering just yet by placing her body in front the doorway. “Without getting too far into it tonight, I believe I have found a way to lift both of your banishments.”

That caused the couple to perk up. Octavia, who had previously been leaning against the wall, straightened up and listened.

“If I claim both of you as Skaikru, then you will be safe.”

“Meaning?” Octavia asked impatiently. She was already apart of the people in Arkadia, Lincoln might as well of been as well.

“Meaning.. Meaning that we are one of them now.” When Clarke still received the same expressions she clarified, “We have become the thirteenth can.”

Lincoln’s mouth dropped. No one had been added to to coalition since the commander had first formed it a few years ago.

“But they left us!” Octavia exclaimed almost immediately.

“And now she can’t, because our people are her people. Look,” Clarke began tiredly, “If you want to argue, fine, yell at me all you want, just do it tomorrow.” The blonde turned to leave, not in the mood to get in a yelling match with anyone.

“Wait,” Clarke turned to see what Octavia had to say this time. “Thank you.”

Clarke was surprised to hear any sort of gratitude from the younger Blake sibling. The last few times they had communicated had not exactly gone over smoothly. Sincerity rested in Octavia’s eyes though, same as Lincoln’s, they were both grateful and Clarke could tell.

“I know I haven’t made the best decisions in the past, but it was always to protect my people. I intend to keep on doing that.” They nodded and she left, ready to finally get some sleep. When she returned to the top floor, Clarke debated whether or not she should go by Lexa’s room. She let her feet decide and ended up in front of the commander’s door.

Lexa had just finished blowing out all of the candles but one that was always left lit when Clarke emerged from behind the door.

“I was not sure if you would come by or not.”

Clarke shrugged and walked over. “I missed you.”

Lexa chuckled and wrapped her arms around Clarke’s shoulders. “Even though it has been no more than ten minutes, I missed you as well, Clarke.”

“Can we stay together again, tonight.” Clarke had debated asking- knowing she shouldn’t, especially with the extra guests below them.

Lexa knew the same things that Clarke did, but if this was to be her last night then she wanted it to be with Clarke. “Yes.”

The blonde sat on the bed and bent over to take off her shoes when Lexa lightly swatted her hand away.

“Allow me?”

Clarke held her hands up in mock surrender. The shoes were not the most comfortable in the world so she reveled at the feeling of finally getting them off. Clarke started to think it might not have been that bad if she had ended up forgetting to put them on-her dress covered her feet anyways.

As Lexa took the second shoe off she placed it near the other, both tucked neatly beside her bed. When she looked up she realized that Clarke still had on warpaint so she walked to her restroom and cleaned off the cloth that she had just used to clean off her own. She returned with a fresh bowl of water as well.After Lexa helped Clarke clean her face she moved all of the items to the table situated in the middle of her room.

Clarke gently clasped Lexa’s wrist the next time she was within distance. The two stared at each other, basking in the beauty the other held. Clarke began to tug Lexa, not once taking her eyes away. The brunette had to lean forward in order to keep their eye contact from breaking. That single candle was still burning and added a sparkle to the Clarke’s eyes.

When there were just inches left between the two, Clarke put her hand behind Lexa’s neck and urged her forwards to close the remainder of the distance between them. Their lips met at and Clarke swore she felt a spark ignite. It began steady but soon turned into something more frantic. Clarke continued to pull Lexa to her until her back hit the mattress. The blonde moved up the bed so that her legs would no longer be dangling off of the side.

Lexa matched every move that Clarke slid back by crawling forward, eventually settling with one of her legs between Clarke’s. She leaned towards Clarke’s lips, moving to the side the moment they would have met and planted a trail of sloppy kisses until she reached the other girl’s pulse point. Lexa sucked and gently bit at the area causing a low moan to escape Clarke. She then trailed her way back up until her lips were reunited with Clarke’s.

One of Clarke’s hands was tangled in Lexa’s hair while the other ran up and down her back. Lexa supported herself on her elbow while removing Clarke’s copper looking vest with the free one. It took some re-situating but they were eventually back in their original positions, this time under the covers.

When Lexa began to kiss her way down Clarke’s chest something caused her get a panicky feeling in her chest and her heart picked up to an uncomfortable beat. She tried to suppress it, but the further down Lexa went the more the feeling brewed.

“Wait,” Clarke whispered breathlessly.

Lexa stopped immediately, worried that she had pushed past the blonde’s comfort zone.

“Did I-”

“No you were perfect, Lexa. I just..” The last and first person she had had sex with died, by her hand. With Lexa going into a fight to the death tomorrow she was worried that the same thing might happen again, just not directly by her. The thought alone was overwhelming.

Even though the room was dark, the final candle having run out of wax, Lexa could still spot a tear fall on Clarke’s cheek. “It is OK, I understand.” That wasn’t entirely true, she was confused but did get that something was holding Clarke back, so she leaned forward and kissed the tear away. When she moved to slide off of Clarke she was stopped.

“Can we just stay like this, please?” It was said in such a soft tone that the question was hardly able to be heard.

“Of course, Clarke.” Lexa laid her head on Clarke’s chest, using the beat of her heart to judge when she calmed down. If Clarke did not want to talk about it at the moment then Lexa would not push her to do so.

Clarke ran her hands up and down Lexa’s smooth unbraided hair and appreciated the weight on top of her, letting it remind her that the brunette was still there. After a few moments, Clarke tried to lighten the mood with, “You should probably save your energy anyways.” She felt a vibration on her chest from Lexa’s chuckle.

“I have good stamina. You are the one that needed to work on that, remember?”

Clarke’s mmhmm was the last noise between them that night.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the wait y'all, I got busy with finishing school and athletics.. I'm back now though and I'm going to try to update weekly!

Lexa froze; nothing had knocked the breath out of her, yet she still couldn’t manage to breathe. She had already lived through this nightmare once- surviving another was out of the question…

 

Just hours before, the same woman was being woken up by soft murmurs of her name.

 

“Lexxaa,” Clarke whispered in a sing song voice. She was surprised that Lexa hadn’t roused from the first few calls of her name. Just then she felt the weight on top of her shift and roll to her side.

 

Lexa’s eyes were met with a bright fully risen sun. She covered her face with her arm, trying to shade it from the brightness. One of the perks of waking up before the sun was fully out was not having to be blinded by its’ rays. She returned half way back to the position she had woken up in, her face burrowed next to Clarke’s shoulder.

 

Clarke chuckled at the brunette’s behavior. “I need to go to the restroom, then I’ll be back.”

 

“Promise?” Lexa asked, her eyes still closed.

 

“Promise,” Clarke confirmed.

 

As the blonde left to do her business, Lexa finally opened her eyes, for real this time. Her eyes adjusted better than the previous time she tried to open them. A knock sounded from the other side of her door, and when no one came in, Lexa groaned and opened the door herself.

 

“ _Heda_ ,” Titus greeted. He glanced at her attire disapprovingly.

 

She had not been expecting him. It was not completely unusual for the man to show up unannounced but there was usually some type of notice. She nodded a greeting to her advisor.

 

“ _Why are you not yet dressed?_ ”

 

“ _I have time before the challenge, Titus,_ ” Lexa responded, already getting annoyed with the man’sattitude.

 

“ _You should be preparing yourself, Heda.”_ Titus’s tone was beginning to grow louder. He looked over her head and spotted some things that he did not recognize to be hers. “ _Did you spend the night with someone?”_

 

“ _That is none of your business,”_ Lexa responded not a moment later. She was used to Titus having no boundariesbut it was really beginning to grate her nerves. _“You are my advisor,_ _that is all_ _._ _What I do at night is my own._ _”_

 

“ _No, I am the fleimkepa, it is my job to protect the commander’s spirit!”_ Titus bellowed _. “Remember, love is weakness, Heda.”_ He had seen Wanheda last night. He had see her walk in with Lexa and her general. He could now look at the same vest she had worn on the floor.

 

Lexa knew what the man was referencing and she couldn’t force herself to care. Nothing more than sleeping had even occurred the night before. “ _Is there a reason you came here?_ ” Lexa forced herself to ask in an indifferent tone of voice.

 

Titus scowled, saying, “ _The challenge will take place soon_.”

 

Lexa closed the door a bit harder than was necessary. At that point Clarke finally emerged from the bathroom. She almost walked out on the dispute until she heard the bald man raise his voice, choosing to instead eavesdrop from the other side of the wall.

 

“I think I might dislike him as much as Nia,” Clarke muttered in an effort to lift the tense feeling in the air. She hadn’t entirely understood everything that was said, but the parts that she could translate in her head made her blood boil- love is weakness in particular.

 

Lexa snorted in response. “The difference between them is that Titus does things with reason, Nia on the other handis unpredictable in her actions. She seldom ever hasa valid reason.” Lexa would never understand the ice queen or her rationality. She shook her head in annoyance before moving to pick out clothes for the day.

 

Clarke sighed. “I should go talk to my.. people.” It would take some getting used to for Clarke, saying _her people_. Friends seemed like too lose of a label; she hadn’t seen the people in months, minus the night before. On top of that, Clarke was unsure of who the current chancellor evenwas. She walked around the bed to where Lexa was changing and held her in a tight embrace, ignoring the fact that she didn’t have a shirt on at the moment.

 

Lexa was briefly startled. She had seen a flash of blonde hair just before arms envelopedher. While returning the gesture Lexa memorized everything she could about the person in front of her. Lexa was going to fight for her even if it meant causingher finalbreath.

 

“I will see you later, Clarke.” It was a promise that Lexa was determined to hold true. When Clarke looked up at her, she could see fear buried in those eyes, but also hope and something else she didn’t quite recognize. She held onto those two things the most. Roan was a worthyopponent, but he was not heda- she was.

 

Clarke nodded. She tried to keep on a brave face, knowing that Lexa was more than capable of winning, but there was always the probability that the opposite would happen. What if she slipped, what is Roan played dirty, what if a meteor fell from the sky and landed on her?

 

The two met for a short kiss. When they parted Clarke leaned her head on Lexa’s shoulder and stammered, “I..” She truly wanted to vocalize those three magical words, but for the same reason that last night was cut short she just couldn’t manage to do so. If Lexa died, it wouldn’t be the same as when Finn passed. Yes, she had grown to deeply care for the boy, but not to the extent of loving him.

 

“Ai hod yu in, Klark.”

 

“You know I have no clue as to what you just said, right?” She recognized I and her name in the trigedasleng dialect- everything else was a beautifully spoken mystery.

 

Lexa was about ninety nine percent sure that Clarke would not recognize the phrase. Knowing that did not take away the nerves that accompanied vocalizing it though. If she was to die then she’d at least have told Clarke she loved her. “I will soon tell you its’ meaning,” she promised, giving herself yet another reason to leave the challenge as victor.

 

The two left the room together, Clarke only moved from Lexa’s side when she had to get off of the elevator.

 

“Bye, Lexa.”

 

“Goodbye, Clarke.” She vowed for that not to be the last time she said those words to the blonde.

 

When Clarke turned towards the rooms on the floor, she was startled to see Anya. She took a sharp intake of breath while covering her heart with her hand. “Jesus, Anya, what’re you doing here?”

 

“I figured you would be speaking to your people at some point.” Anya shrugged. “I didn’t want to walk in on you and a Lexa having sex.”

 

Clarke’s face turned a bright way. She was beginning to become aware of just how blunt Anya could be at times. The blonde ignored the faint smirk and started walking to gather everyone.

 

Surprisingly enough, no one said anything to Clarke. The blonde decided that since Octavia and Lincoln were the last ones to be collected she would meet with everyone in the room they were occupying.

 

Everyone had ignored Anya’s presence up until Bellamy sassed, “Didn’t she send three hundred of her warriors to kill us?”

 

“Didn’t we kill 300 of her warriors?” Clarke mentally corrected herself, _she killed 300 of Anya’s warriors._

 

Bellamy narrowed his eyes, responding by only redirecting his stare to the floor.

 

“What about the mountain?” Octavia questioned, her voice was calmer than when she yelled the night before- the venom however remained. Her animosity towards Lexa certainly hadn’t gone down. First the secrecy about the missile launch on TonDC, followed by the commander deserting them when it was most needed.

 

Clarke had swallowed her dread when going into the room and it wouldn’t stay down. Trying to get past the surreal feeling of seeing the few people around her was hard enough.

 

“If it meant saving everyone that came down here with us, if it meant saving your brother, would you have taken the same deal? Would you have betrayed the alliance as well?” It was the same question that Clarke, as well as Lexa, had asked herself many times.

 

After a moment of consideration, Octavia responded with, “Yes, but I wouldn't have actually left all of them to die.”

 

“How?” It wasn’t just a question for the Blake but Clarke as well. If Octavia could come up with an idea on the spot then that would bring up the possibility of Lexa having been able to do something all those months ago. “How!?”

 

“I don’t know!” Octavia shouted back.

 

“What about you? Say your sister was in your place at the time, would you have saved her?” She prayed that no one could answer the question with a logical solution, it would hurt too much. It would mean that she didn’t have to cause an entire civilization become extinct. Bellamy nodded his head stubbornly.

 

“And you?” Clarke asked while pointing at Raven.

 

Raven carefully considered Clarke’s question. “You know what, I don’t think that I can say the same thing.” Everyone looked at the brunette with surprised expressions. “They drilled into me for fucking bone marrow! I still have a limp and can not do a damn thing about it!” She looked at Anya sadly before facing Clarke again. “They had to endure that for years more than us- so no, Clarke, my answer is no.”

 

Clarke left it at that, she didn’t bother to ask how. If Raven were with them that night, and not shutting off Mount Weather’s power, she herself would have been a powerful weapon.

 

Raven had problems with her leg before the mountain, but she was recovering from getting shot by Murphy. Getting drilled into was like sending her ten steps back from her goal. She couldn’t find it in herself to be mad at the grounder commander for saving her people from that excruciating process. While observing everyone’s reactions, Raven caught Anya’s eyes but couldn’t read her expression.

 

“Why have you been hiding?” Octavia asked what everyone other than Anya had been wondering.

 

Clarke had been waiting for that specific question. She ignored whatever apprehension she felt and in a false nonchalant voice said, “I was not hiding, I.. I just..” She put her hand behind her and began tapping the back of it with her other.

 

“I told you that I would give you forgiveness, Clarke.” Bellamy sounded hurt, he didn’t even try to hide it. He didn’t understand why she was behaving the way she was.

 

Clarke shook her head. He could not grant the forgiveness that she needed, no one could- except for her herself. She looked at him in the eye and dropped the mask, stressing what she was trying to get across. “You might have given me mental strength to pull that lever, but it was going down with or without you. I,” she prolonged the word, “pulled the lever. I murdered an entire civilization. Seeing everyone I did that for would just remind me of that.”

 

“For fucks sake, Clarke, we could’ve been there for you.” He paused exasperatedly, taking a breath before stepping towards Clarke and putting his hand on her shoulder. “I could have been there for you.”

 

Clarke tensed up when he moved his hand to her chin, trying to urge her face to look towards his. She pulled her chin to the side and stepped back which, causing his hand to fall to his side. “I bared it so no one else would have to.” She put her hands on her hips and turned around, squeezing her eyes shut. When she opened them she was looking at Anya, who hadn’t left her position near the door. Clarke could see the barely noticeable question behind the hazel eyes.

 

She couldn’t respond though, not even in a non-verbal way, because she wanted to be ok, but she just wasn’t. She was caught off guard- more than off guard. The stress of the upcoming challenge combined with the surprise of her.. visitors was pushing the blonde to her limits.

 

“Sounds like hiding to me.” It wasn’t particularly meant to be a jab, but just how Octavia saw the situation.

 

It sounded like hiding to Clarke as well but that was left in her thoughts. She had to mentally prepare herself for telling Bellamy and Raven, the only two people that did not know about the thirteenth clan.

She counted down from five in her head, only allowing herself to feel anxious for that short amount of time. Afterwards she stood up straighter, rolled her head to the side to pop her neck, and put her arms behind her back.

 

Anya looked on with pride. The sky girl was beginning to look like a real leader.

 

“Bellamy, Raven, you both get along with Lincoln, correct.”

 

“Yeah,” they both replied, Bell finished slightly after Raven.

 

Clarke nodded. “Would you agree then that it is possible for us to coincide with them?”

 

Raven glanced at Anya before nodding. Bellamy appeared to be in deep thought for several moments but eventually nodded once as well.

 

“Good, because that is exactly what we are going to do,” Clarke replied slightly evasively.

 

Raven tried to read Clarke’s expression, someone wasn’t being said. When that didn’t work she tried Anya, but the general was even more difficult to read.

 

“What are you saying, Clarke?” Raven’s voice came off as slightly guarded.

 

Clarke’s back was facing away from the group but Anya could see the blonde’s nails digging into her palms. Speaking for Clarke would make her look less of a leader, it was something she would have to do herself.

 

“What L- the commander is in charge of is called the coalition. It was made up of twelve clans until-”

 

“Clarke don’t tell me that you really-” Bellamy abruptly started before being cut off.

 

Octavia roughly pulled at her brother’s shoulder so her would be facing her. They shared similar faces of stubbornness. “You care about us right, everyone that came down from The Ark?” He was still glaring but Octavia knew the answer so she continued, “Look at it this way, the commander can not abandon us again if we are her people.” The younger Blake still held some resentment towards what happened back at Mount Weather but even she could see the reason.

 

After about a minute of tense silence Clarke spoke again. “That is not all.” Everyone looked at her except Bellamy who started at her feet instead. “I am Wanheda, the commander of death.” She shook her head so she would not be interrupted again. Everyone was looking at Clarke now. “Some people believe that controlling me would mean controlling death. Therefore a challenge has been made against the commander by the Ice Nation, one of the other clans.”

 

“Meaning?” Raven implored.

 

“A fight to thedeath,” Clarke replied. She quickly silenced the older Blake from responding with a shake of her head, knowing what he was about to say. “Do not blame them for this. We are them now. There were assholes on the ark, right.”

 

“Yeah but-”

 

“Well there are assholes on the ground too, and the Ice Nation ruler, Nia, is one of them.” The blonde rolled her eyes, Nia might as well of been the queen of them for all she cared.

 

Anya watched as Raven walked towards Clarke. She was about to reach for her sword when one she remembered that no one was to be harmed and two Raven was looking at her cautiously. She could tell that the brunette meant no harm so she relaxed her stance but remained vigilent.

 

Clarke watched as Raven tripped and quickly moved to catch her. She led her to sit on the bed and was about to back up when Raven pulled Clarke down beside her. “You said Nia challenged Lexa, or the commander, why?”

 

“Because Nia believes I am something to be controlled and that the commander has said control.” Clarke looked at the door, knowing the challenge would begin soon. “Listen, I will explain everything at some point later on, but I have to go. Y’all can attend if you would like.”

 

Clarke left it at that and stood up. She followed Anya out of the room and heard a couple sets of footsteps behind her. The blonde turned her head just enough to see Lincoln and Octavia not far behind them. They nodded and Clarke returned the gesture.

 

The four of them got on the elevator. The doors were about to close when Anya stuck her hand out to stop the movement. Raven entered a few moments later.

 

“Thanks.” Raven thought she saw a smile but it was gone just as quickly as it seemed to appear.

 

The group’s pace towards the arena was slow enough for Raven to keep up. She was in between Anya and Clarke who were at the front and Lincoln and Octavia.

 

Anya stopped the party when they came to meet a large crowd of people. “I have to escort Wanheda elsewhere. Do not stick out, the only people that know of the thirteenth clan are the ones that attended the summit.”

 

“Wait!” Raven said loud enough to be heard but not by the bustling crowd. “What happens to Clarke if-”

 

“She won’t lose.” Clarke had worries of her own and hearing the mechanic’s only made hers increase. She knew Lexa could handle her own, and she wasn’t even scared for her own safety, but the brunette’s life was in danger and that was enough to cause fear in Clarke.

 

Raven watched Anya and Clarke leave. The crowd seemed to know to part for the two of them. She could see the younger of the pair tense up after people began noticing her and reaching out. As the three of them entered the crowd Raven had to brush off a few glances directed at her brace. She was about to head for the back of the crowd to avoid further stares when she saw Anya leaving Clarke who was now on a platformed and shaded stage with two other people.

 

Anya headed to the front of the crowd while still being close enough to the stage in case something were to go wrong. People were bumping into her, trying to get closer to where the soon to be challenge would take place. A certain hand on her shoulder however drew her attention away from the dirt arena. Anya turned her head and was met with deeply brown colored eyes.

 

“Do you really think she will win?” Raven had never personally seen Lexa fight but if the hype from everyone surrounding her meant anything it was that something interesting was about to happen.

 

Anya smirked. “I trained her. She will win.”

 

Raven was about to say something else when a possibly drunk person bumped into her. She was caught and steadied by strong arms. When she looked up Anya was glaring at a man who took a few stumbling steps backwards into the crowd. Raven was getting annoyed with herself, two times that day did she almost fall and have to be caught.

 

“So does Lexa control Clarke?” Raven didn’t bother saying the commander, it was just too long and the two might as well of been talking amongst themselves since it was too loud for anyone else to listen in on their conversation.

 

Anya heard a hidden question but ignored it. “She is not a thing to be controlled, even if some people believe so.”

 

Raven followed Anya’s anger filled eyes to the woman that stood next to Clarke on the stage. “Is that Nia?” When Anya nodded she added, “Who’s the man next to her?”

 

“Titus, he is the fleimkepa. In the easiest to explain terms he is in charge of finding a new commander and advising them when he does.”

 

Raven hummed as a response. “Clarke doesn’t look too happy to be up there.” After Anya snorted the brunette asked, “I take it he is another one of the assholes?”

 

Anya looked at Raven out of the corner of her amused eyes. It was answer enough.

 

There was noise all around her but it might as well of been silent for Clarke. She could see people gawk at her while on the platform. She stood between Nia and Titus, neither of whom had said a word since her arrival. The blonde ignored the steely blue stare that seemed to constantly be focused on her.

 

All of the sudden the noise turned into murmurs and then silence as people began to part from opposite sides of the arena. Lexa emerged from one side and Roan the other. He was easily bigger than Lexa, in both height and weight. His face had scars representative of the Ice Nation. Roan’s hair was similar to Lexa’s except shorter and it had fewer braids. His clothes looked like stereotypical Ice Nation clothes except they were dirty from being locked up.

 

Titus stood and put his hand in the air to gain everyone’s attention. “Leksa kom Trikru, yu gada throudon inby Nia kom Azgeda.”

 

Anya shifted closer to Raven and whispered, “Lexa from the tree people you have been challenged by Nia from the Ice Nation.” The breath by Raven’s ear sent a shiver down her spine. When she looked at Anya her eyes were focused on Lexa so she too joined in on watching.

 

“And I accept,” Lexa responded stiffly. She took an irritatedbreath to rid herself of Titus’s annoyance. She would need a clear head for the battle that would soon commence. The commander looked at Clarke just long enough to not be considered suspicious. She still saw Titus narrow his eyes out of the corner of hers though. She turned her attention to Roan. He looked strong even though he had been imprisoned, Lexa would not underestimate him. She knew Azgeda trained its warriors to be ruthless and towin no matter the cost.

 

Clarke heard Titus clear his throat before he spoke again. “Wina hon in Wanheda.”

 

“Winner gets Clarke,” Anya translated in a simpler version.

 

“Yo na jomp in,” Titus concluded

 

Raven needed no translation as movement began in front of her.

 

Lexa saw Roan size her up just as she was doing him. They circled around each other, both waiting for the other to attack first. It was a game of patience, one that Lexa intended to win.

 

Roan’s fake lunge was enough to make Clarke jump before she could catch herself. The anticipation was becoming too much. She wanted everything to just be over with so she could be with Lexa again.

 

Lexa would not fall for trivial tricks, she had not even drawn her sword yet while Roan had.The womanstood strong, not giving Roan anything to learn off of, something to use against her.The commander saw the telltale signs of attack in Roan’s feet before anything. There was a twitch before they quickly slid into a position that would allow for him to have more balance to attack.

 

“He lost the game of patience,” Anya commented. The crowd had begun roaring again, now cheering loudly for their commander.

 

Raven looked on toward the fight. The mechanic tried to find a weakness much like she would with a machine but fighting was not in her area of expertise and she didn’t know what to look for.

 

Without knowing, Clarke was doing the same thing as Raven. While she was more adept than Raven in fighting, she still had not been formallytrained yet. The blonde watched as Lexa continued to evade each attack, still not having taken her sword out. Clarke subconsciously started shifting from foot to foot, too concentrated on what was going on to notice her own body movements.

 

Lexa could tell that he as goating her, but while she herself was keeping a cool head he was becoming impatient and frustrated. She had learned enough from watching him. While he was fast he still valued strength over agility. Quicker than he was able toreact she unsheathed her sword and unleashed an attack of her own.

 

Roan was stumbling backwards but found enough time to regain his step when Lexa spun around once to gain momentum.

 

Lexareprimandedherself for taking an easy ending when she had the perfect opportunity to make him lose his balance completely but she would not dwell on her mistake- knowingthatdoing so could cause her to lose. Roan threw up his sword to block the blow and the two met in a standoff. It was a test of strength and Lexa was forced to one knee as she tried to hold her ground.

 

Clarke watchedwith what she thought was a calm expression, but her body language and eyes told otherwise: Her nail were again digging into her palms, she was still shifting from foot to foot, and her eyes were wide with horror.

 

Lexa would not let that be the end. She put her free hand on the blade of her sword and used her newly gained leverage to force Roan backwards,even as the blade cut into her skin. He quickly recovered even though his sword had been knocked far to his side. He looked around fanatically while walking backwards before punching a guard and stealing his spear. Lexa in the mean time had recovered her opponents sword to use for own personalgain.As she readied herself Roan expertly spun his newly acquired weapon around his body to get a feel for its balance.

 

The spear was heavier to use and because of that his movements were slower but it was still obvious that he was skilled with the weapon. He again aimed at her head but Lexa was easily able to dodge and ready herself for attack.

 

Clarke was still fixed on the fight to the point of not being aware of anything else going on around her. Lexa almost looked like she was performing a dance routine, and if her life wasn’t in danger Clarke might’ve thought it was pretty to watch- that however was not the case. She tracked every movement until the two came to another standoff, this time with both of Lexa’s swords baring down on Roan. He was easily able to overpower Lexa just as she had done him not even a minute before.

 

One of Lexa’s swords was thrown from her hand, clattering to a halt somewhere behind her. Roan took the opening to flip his spear around and jam the dull end into Lexa’s wrist, causing her last weapon to fly near the shaded platform.

 

Clarke watched as Lexa was forcefully kicked in the center of her chest causing her tofall androughly slide backwards. Both of the commander’s swords were too far for her to get to them in time. The blonde silently begged her to get up but Lexa remained on her back. Clarke got nauseous as Roan stalked closer while raising the spear. She used one hand to hold her stomach and the other to cover her mouth. She almost screamed as Roan thrust his arm downwards, almost, but Lexa rolled to the side at the last second.

 

Lexa held onto the bottom of the spear, just above the blade, that was now imbedded in the ground. She kicked upwards and used the momentum to slide her hands up the spears body while flipping backwards, effectively pulling both the weapon away from Roan and out of the dirt.

 

Roan tried to jump over Lexa’s next attack but had fallen directly into her trap when she quickly inched the spear up just enough to swipehis ankles to the side. He fell with a thud and she raised the weapon, ready to end the fight once and for all. At the moment that could’ve been fatal for Roan, Lexa turned to the side and aimed ata specific person on the platform butfroze; nothing had knocked the breath out of her, yet she still couldn’t manage to breathe. Shehadalready lived through this nightmare once- surviving another was out of the question…


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was supposed to be out sooner but I went to a wedding and the hotel had crappy Wi-Fi, soooo... yeah.. BUT I'm here now wit another chapter so I hope y'all enjoy! It would have been longer but I wanted to get it out in a timely(ish) manor.

Anya had intently been watching the challenge, so when Lexa was about to hurl the spear at Nia she followed the would be movement. When she looked at the queen Anya knew she failed her job. She failed Lexa. She failed Clarke.

 

“Drop your weapon or her power will be mine through death,” Nia ordered, she was wearing the face of victory.

 

The spear clattered to Lexa’s side. Nia had anticipated the brunette’s movements and pulled Clarke in front of her. The sword that had been thrown towards them was now being held against Clarke’s neck. Everyone who could have noticed was too oblivious and focused on the fight that had bee taking place.

 

Just minutes before, Bellamy was watching from the balcony of his room. The arena was close enough for him to see everything, but he didn’t care about the fight- he cared about Clarke and she was all that he was watching. The Blake’s eyes narrowed when he noticed Nia’s stealthy movements towards the front of the stage. When he realized what the queen was going for he tried to yell at Clarke to watch out but his voice was useless against the roar below him. The second Nia touched the sword he bolted out the door.

 

The crowd had silenced, everyone was still. No one was sure of what to do. The challenge was over. Nia had broken the rules by taking her prize too early. Doing so in any normal situation would mean death, but this was no normal situation.

 

“Think about what you’re doing, Nia. You have gone against the challenge, you have gone against me, and you have gone against the coalition.” The inner turmoil Lexa had going on did not affect her voice, she knew doing so would only further endanger Clarke and give Nia more of a rise.

 

Nia’s smirk became even cockier when she replied with, “None of that will matter when I have the power of Wanheda. I,” she elongated the single letter, “will be Heda.”

 

Lexa growled, not loud enough for anyone to hear, but a growl none the less. She knew Nia wanted power but the woman was not a nightblood and she could not be heda because of that. Lexa knew that she only needed to stall long enough for Anya to reach the platform from behind. The general had sunk into the crowd moments before the brunette said, “With or without Wanheda, you are not a natblida- therefore you can never become Heda.” Lexa knew it was a gamble to say such words with an unpredictable person but it was one she had to take so Nia’s attention would remain on her.

 

The maniacal laughter that followed was far from settling for Clarke. She remembered the story Lexa told her, about when Anya told her to count down from three and to only feel fear for those few moments. The blonde counted backwards in her head.

 

“Do you really think that with Wanheda’s power I could not change these ways? Besides..” A cryptic smile broke out across Nia’s face before she continued. “I have a natblida of my own and-”

 

Titus had been stoically quiet until this moment. “ _All natblida are supposed to be sent here, to Polis, to be trained as soon as they are found out about. That is our way-”_

 

Nia’s tsking sound interrupted Titus. She shook her head before strengthening her grip on Clarke and leaning close to her face. “Do you not see,” the next part the woman said slowly, “our ways are about to change.”

 

“That was not apart of our deal!” Titus bellowed furiously.

 

The second Lexa Titus finished his sentence Lexa angrily took a step toward him, her face now showing parts of the angry she was trying to suppress. A jerking movement from Nia halted her before she could take the second step though.

 

“Ah ah..” Nia shook her head. “One more step towards the stage and Wanheda dies.”

 

Lexa screwed her eyes shut and balled her fist together, desperately trying to think of a quick way to get Clarke out of this. Before she could reopen her eyes an explosion sound in the distance, Lexa could see smoke rise above buildings. At the same time Bellamy bursts out of the crowd and startled everyone, including Nia, by yelling, “Clarke!”

 

The queen quickly regained her composure while saying, “It looks like it is time for our departure.”

 

The following moments were complete and utter chaos. Anya was nowhere in sight and people were swarming past Lexa as she tried to run towards Clarke. Out of her peripherals the brunette could see the dark haired boy attempting to do the same thing on one side while Octavia and Lincoln did so on the other. The clashing of swords could be heard not too far off in the distance. Lexa was livid, it was not acceptable for her to be unaware of what was going on outside of Polis’s walls. When she felt like she was finally gaining on Nia an ice nation warrior barreled into her. Lexa used the momentum to perform a backwards somersault. When Lexa popped up she reached for her sword before she remembered that it had been thrown from her hands during the challenge.

 

Ice Nation soldiers were now surrounding Nia and Clarke in an effort to protect their queen. She tried to struggle against the woman when people fearfully began running all around her but there was little she could do with a sword at her throat. One of the soldiers expertly bound her wrists together before throwing the blonde over his shoulder. Clarke looked around, she couldn’t find anyone that she knew. Some of the city’s guards tried to help her but they were all brutally slashed down by the small army that accompanied Nia. The feeling of her stomach bouncing against the man’s armored shoulder made Clarke feel sick but she could do nothing.

 

Clarke continued to search around her anxiously, silently pleading to find Lexa, but all she could see were blue and white fur lined uniforms. The hole in the wall was the first thing that Clarke was able to see and no one had come for her. She began to think that maybe Lexa didn’t care about her enough to go after her but she shook the idea from her mind. She knew that was a lie. Nia and the man carrying Clarke remained in the center of several warriors until a third person joined them, and to her astonishment this new person also had a person thrown over his shoulder- Anya.

 

At first Clarke thought the general had been knocked out, too much color was in her cheeks for her to be dead. Anya then opened her eyes, just enough for Clarke to see them, anyone else would have to be looking specifically at her to notice them, and made a subtle shh motion with her lips.

 

Anya was already upset with herself for letting Nia get close enough to Clarke to endanger her life, but not being quick enough to get her while they were on the stage only made the woman more mad. Polis guards were fighting Ice Nation warriors. What she found odd was that the only people that Nia’s men and women fought were the ones that tried to go towards Clarke or Nia. No one even went towards Lexa, who Anya knew was somewhere behind her. Clarke, or rather Wanheda, was all they came to Polis for. While she wanted to make sure that Lexa was ok, Anya also knew that the commander could handle her own and her orders to protect Clarke had not yet been lifted. The general knew that she could not successfully battle the opposing warriors, and while guards were trying to help they were only a distraction. Anya could come up with one sure fire way to at least be around Clarke. Nia’s warriors knew she would not ever want to miss the opportunity to get her hands on Lexa’s closest advisor; Anya took advantage of that and gave them a poor fight.

 

**XXX**

 

Once Lexa finally broke through all of the terrified citizens and fighting she knew it was too late. She could see white horses racing away from Polis. She looked behind her, the road leading to the tower was littered with bodies and broken stalls. Smoke still rose from around where the explosion had occurred. The Ice Nation did not have that technology. Skaikru and the Maunon were the only ones with that kind of power- one of them was extinct. Based off of the reactions of the few that came to Polis, Lexa couldn’t even imagine the people of Arkadia trusting any person that was not one of them, especially anyone connected to Nia. Her people weren’t exactly known for being charismatic.

 

People began to realize that the fighting was over and slowly returned to the street, all forming a silent crowd in front of their commander. Some of the city’s guards were limping, but stood in front of her none the less- each one ready to obey whatever orders they were to be given.

 

Lexa did not only care for Clarke but also her people, she would not bring them into her fight.

 

“ _Azgeda_ _has not only gone against me in the challenge but also the entire coalition. Skaikru has become apart of us as the thirteenth clan and while the official ceremony has not been done they are still one of us.”_ Murmurs spread but quickly quieted, Lexa knew that the people of Polis supported her. _“Wanheda is their advisor, I will not let their queen use her and treat her as an object, as a prize. If you were hurt in the fight then see a healer.”_

 

The brunette waited for people to disperse before finding the nearest able bodied guard and they spoke in hushed tones.

 

“ _Did anyone see Azgeda approaching these walls?”_

 

“ _Yes Heda.”_ The man visibly gulped but other than that showed no signs of feeling anxious. “ _The fleimkepa told the scouts that warned him he would take care of it and they did not need to bother with finding you._ ”

 

Lexa glared, not at the guard, but since he was in front of her that’s how it came off. “ _I want you to keep your watch on him until I return with Wanheda. Do not let_ _the fleimkepa_ _know your eyes are on him._ _On your way to him gather people to make pyres for the deceased._ _”_

 

They parted and Lexa turned, heading toward the stables located on the other side of the wall. Before she exited the city she could smell the familiar scent of iron. Her suspicions were confirmed when she saw all of the horses slaughtered. Nia took away her only quick way of transportation. The animals did not deserve this. Lexa turned and punched the wall in frustration. This was not how the day was supposed to go. Clarke was gone, not just gone, but kidnapped. Lexa started to feel like all odds were going against her, but she’d fight the world if it meant saving Clarke.

 

Lexa recognized the sound of heavy footsteps and composed herself just before Bellamy ran outside of the wall.

 

“Where is she?!” Bellamy asked frantically, looking around as if he would find her in plain sight. Lexa couldn’t look him in the eyes and that was sign enough.

 

Lexa could tell that the dark haired boy wanted to say something and was clearly restraining himself. “I am going after her-”

 

“We are going too,” Octavia said breathlessly as she too emerged from the hole in the wall, leaving no room for argument. Lincoln soon followed who had Raven’s arm around his shoulder and was supporting most of her weight. Lexa hadn’t even noticed them disappearing from her side.

 

The commander glanced back at the dead horses, she had no fast way to catch up with Azgeda.

 

“We have a jeep not far from here,” Octavia said.

 

Lexa didn’t know what that was or how it’d help. Before she could implore as to what exactly it was Raven clarified, “Think of it as a really fast horse but with wheels.”

 

“Lead the way,” Lexa said without a second thought. While the Skaikru members weren’t completely fond of her, they did have a common goal, to keep Clarke safe, so for the time being she did not have a reason to believe they were leading her into a trap. As they raced through the woods she remembered that someone had given Azgeda a bomb, but if this was quickest way to Clarke and she couldn’t not take the chance. The jeep was not far, so the brunette wasn’t surprised that the sky people had been sighted so easily. It was an amateur move for trying to get inside of Polis- one that she knew Lincoln would know better than to commit. It was a risky gamble, especially since he and Octavia had been banished.

 

The jeep looked like a cart but with seats and a roof. Bellamy had raced ahead to save time and got it started. The vehicle was not quiet when it roared to a start, they would have to stop it a distance away from wherever Nia and her troops were camped to keep hidden. Lexa took the other front seat, seeing as it offered a better opportunity to be aware of her surroundings.

 

“Get your ass out off the front seat, Bellamy,” Raven yelled the second she saw the Blake brother in the driver’s seat. Before he could argue she added, “You’re a shit driver and you know it!”

 

Bellamy growled as he crawled into the backseat. Lincoln and Octavia occupied the remaining two seats.

 

The jeep didn’t have doors so when the car started Lexa instinctually reached out for something to hold. She settled on just holding onto the roof with a white knuckled grip. The commander looked around, their speed and the lack of light made it too hard for her to see any tracks. As she squinted Lexa was just able to make out smoke.

 

“That way,” Lexa said, almost in a way that sounded like an order, and pointed in the direction. Raven followed Lexa’s finger and made a sharp turn, causing Lexa to slide in her seat and hold onto the roof more firmly. She saw that everyone else had something wrapped around their torsos that kept them in place but she didn’t want to be restrained in case there was the need to make a hasty retreat.

 

“I thought you said I was the shit driver,” Bellamy grumbled.

 

“Not the time, dude..” No one else said anything as the vehicle sped across the grass.

 

“Wait,” Raven said as she realized something. “Where’s Anya?”

 

Lexa still did not know. The last she had seen of the general was when Nia first got her hands on Clarke. “I do not know..” There was no point in lying. “My guess is that she is headed the same place we are.”

 

As they travelled Lexa tried to direct Raven through plains and grassy areas so they’d be able to avoid trees in an effort to save time, seeing as they could be difficult to navigate through on something smaller like a horse but they eventually had to. Once it got too thick Raven stopped the jeep and pulled the keys out of the ignition.

 

It was a good time to stop, they had made a considerable amount of distance towards the smoke and scouts would be stationed around the perimeter once they got close enough, which wouldn’t be far from where they were.

 

**XXX**

 

Clarke and Anya were on separate horses. The younger of the two was still with the soldier that bound her wrists together while Anya had beed thrown over the horse of the warrior that carried her to the party while they were still In Polis.

 

Nothing around Clarke appeared familiar to her, whether or not it was because her night vision was poor she did not know. Anya was still asleep, or rather pretending to be. Clarke knew the general would wait for the perfect time to make her move, if she had one.. The day had many unexpected events, getting kidnapped unexpectedly and on purpose was not exactly on the agenda. Clarke didn’t know if Anya even had a plan to get the out of this. It would be reckless, for both her and her ally, for Clarke to try to escape.

 

The trip was very unlike the one Clarke had taken with Lexa. Warm and comforting arms didn’t envelope her. She did not feel safe- far from it. Worries plagued Clarke’s mind: Her old friends, Polis, Lexa.. She did not even know if the fighting was still active or not. Clarke couldn’t help but think she had only been in Polis for a few days and people had already died. It never seemed to leave her, death, it always followed her.

 

Before long all of the horses came a halt and Clarke didn’t even draw a single breath before a blindfold was roughly tied over her eyes. She didn’t know why they put it on her, it wasn’t like she actually knew where they were at the moment. She felt the warrior behind her dismount before being yanked off by her arm. When Clarke reached the ground she lost her footing and slipped but sloppily caught herself on with one of her knees.

 

“Careful now, Wanheda,” Nia whispered, too close for Clarke’s liking.

 

Clarke felt arms helping her up, their gentle touch gave her a feeling of false comfort. She was more than aware that whatever the queen was doing was some sort of act. When Nia urged Clarke forward her arm was still wrapped around the blonde’s waist. Clarke’s attempt to put some distance between the two of them only resulted in nails being dug into the side of her ribs.

 

“Ah ah,” Nia said in a sing song kind of voice. “We would not want for you to fall again.” She paused to put her spare hand on Clarke’s stomach. “Now would we?”

 

Being deprived of one of her senses- her eye sight, was enough to make the situation that much more unnerving. Still, Clarke would not give the queen the satisfaction of receiving a response so she swallowed her response. It was not to her surprise when another voice did speak up though however.

 

“Get your hands off of her,” Anya growled. The general didn’t make it obvious or let it be known but she had been keeping an eye on Clarke and everyone around her since they were reunited.

 

Nia laughed and only strengthened her grip. “I do not believe you are in any positionto be making demands.”

 

Clarke stiffened, trying to keep her emotions under control. She didn’t care what Nia did to her but for her to disrespect Anya, for her to disrespect everyone, that ignited something in the blonde. Keeping her cool was becoming more and more difficult but she was determined to do just that. Wanheda scared Clarke, and nothing could be done about it because _she_ was Wanheda. Whatever was about to happen, Clarke did not want Wanheda’s anger to resurface.

**Author's Note:**

> Just a little thing off of Urban dictionary that brought up the feels: Clexa is the epitome of soul mates, there is no until death do us apart because even in death they find each other.


End file.
